Alright, ladies and gentlemen – it’s time for the Super Bowl 53 drinking game! We’ve waited an entire year for this. Ever since getting sloshed and watching Nick Foles bring the city of Philadelphia the Vince Lombardi Trophy, I’ve eagerly anticipated the next Super Bowl Sunday, when I could sit, drink, watch football, and go on the emotional roller coaster that is the inevitable realization that football will be gone from my life for the next six months. I’m sorry that took a dark turn. I sound a bit depressed, and perhaps I am, but this should be a joyous occasion.
So, let’s get to work – we pride ourselves on being the official unofficial king of the drinking game. We write ’em for all the big football weekends, and for all of the big pro wrestling shows. God, couldn’t you just feel the testosterone in that last sentence?
Anyway, Super Bowl 53 – its the New England Patriots and it’s the Los Angeles Rams. I have a full preview of the game here, with a betting guide to come. We have plenty more coverage if you scroll to the bottom of this article. The Patriots are currently favored by 2.5, with an over/under of 56.5. LFG – let’s. fuckin’. go.
Super Bowl 53 Drinking Game
Take a drink if/when…
*Someone mentions the “aging” Patriots, or suggests that Tom Brady is “old.”
*Anyone mentions that Rob Gronkowski could retire after this game.
*Julian Edelman catches a pass.
*Robert Woods catches a pass.
*We get a graphic showing Bill Belichick and/or Sean McVay and their “coaching trees.”
*A player is caught standing too close to a live mic, and a “FUCK” or “SHIT” makes it through to the broadcast.
*Someone mentions that the Rams picked up C.J. Anderson “off the streets” or “off the couch” as a late-season free agent acquisition.
*Jeff Fisher is shown on screen in any form for any reason.
*Someone mentions that Brandin Cooks used to play for the Patriots. Oh my God, did you know that?
*Todd Gurley or Anderson score a rushing or receiving touchdown.
*Either team’s defense registers a takeaway.
*Sony Michel or James White have a 10+-yard carry.
*Either team’s defense registers a sack.
*Tucks the ball and runs with it. Drink again if he actually gains yardage.
*Someone mentions all the Super Bowls the Patriots have won.
Take a shot if/when…
*Either team converts a 4th down.
*We get a quarterback sneak with Brady.
*Gerald Everett catches a touchdown.
*Either team scores a defensive touchdown.
*Anyone refers to Johnny Hekker as “a weapon.” Do another shot if they add onto that by mentioning how much Belichick loves him.
*Finally, raise a glass of your poison of choice and do a shot at the end of the game, no matter the outcome. Cheers to another fun season in the books!
As always, folks. Have fun, but stay safe and drink responsibly.
More Super Bowl 53 Coverage
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Jason McCourty Will Play in His First Super Bowl on Sunday
Our Official SoBros Network Staff Super Bowl Game Picks
Podcast: Super Bowl 53 Preview
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R.I.P. Los Angeles Rams – Tom Brady Is Practicing to Guns N’ Roses
Rob Gronkowski Endorses Nashville As “Place to Be,” #Nice
Super Bowl 53 Betting Guide
Super Bowl 53 Drinking Game
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Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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