The SoBros Mailbag #123: Starting A Cult

It's lunch time on a Friday. The SoBros Mailbag is here.

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Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter.

Question:

Answer:

Spin cycle: some may say that I’ve already started a cult and it’s called SoBros Network. I’m not going to argue with those people. Y’all are crazy for sticking around for as long as you have.

In all seriousness, I’m really glad that this question came during a week when I didn’t get a lot of mailbag questions. That happens from time to time for whatever reason – people just disappear. But, honestly, I kinda like weeks like this one when I can really sink my teeth into a question instead of trying to go rapid-fire on about a dozen different ones.

Okay – first things first, I don’t want to leave the area. I want to start my cult at home. Maybe that’s a bad idea because there’s nowhere for me to really go if shit goes sideways, and let’s be honest – we all know that shit can go sideways in a hurry if you’re in a cult. But, I just love the area too much. I love being close to a fun, glitzy city like Nashville, but also being a close drive to Chattanooga, the Smoky Mountains, etc..

The reason I bring this up is because I’m thinking about branding, and I definitely want to use the word ‘church.’ Church invokes feelings of community around here – it might not mean that everywhere, but in Mount Juliet, TN, I feel like it’s safe. People will see ‘church’ on a building, and they’ll feel a little more inclined to check it out. That’s how we get followers to carry out our mission.

Now, what exactly is our mission? That’s the million dollar question – I have my own nihilistic and hedonistic beliefs about life. That might surprise some people considering a lot of folks know me as this jovial sociable dude. But, I don’t really have any belief system to push. What is important to me is re-opening all of the Applebee’s in the Nashville area, and maybe even adding one in Mount Juliet.

So, I’ll use the power of the people (in my cult) to place pressure on Applebee’s to come back to Nashville in earnest.

We can really flesh out the material and how we’re going to get there at a later date. Gotta focus on the pamphlets, but like I’ve always said, if you hear the sizzling of a Bourbon Street Steak, you’ll do anything for Applebee’s.

So, I think we’ve landed on “The Church of Eatin’ Good.” That’s something I can market, and it’s something that people will want to be apart of.

Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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