Billionaire Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg has been stealing an awful lot of headlines this week. That, in and of itself, seems like an accomplishment when all people want to do is argue about masks on Facebook lately. So, props to him for that, I guess. But, when you’re on that billionaire shit like The Zuck is, the camera is always on you. And, when people already think you might be a robot, they’re going to have a field day when they see you on a surfboard, fully clothed, and with what looks like a gallon of white Sherwin Williams on your face.
Mark Zuckerberg surfboards in Hawaii with way too much sunscreen https://t.co/TYcdDmBbZG pic.twitter.com/INyGVPvNY6
— New York Post (@nypost) July 19, 2020
Look, guys – I get it. Hardy har har. Let’s look at this estranged and eccentric billionaire and make fun of him for applying too much sunscreen! He’s so goofy and overly concerned about getting sun burned!
He looks like a clown! What a sociopath. Is he an alien!?!?! HiLArIoUS!!!!
At this point, it’s Wednesday, and I’ve seen just about all the jokes there are to make about Mark Zuckerberg wearing fucking sunscreen out the wazoo. But, what I don’t see is y’all talkin’ about dem cheeks:
Hot damn! Just call this man Little Debbie ’cause he’s bringin’ the CAKES. When did The Zuck fill out, man?!?! Like, have I been missing out on something?! When did this man get a donk worthy of the New York Post?!? Fuck the sunscreen! Why ain’t we talking about this man’s whole ass! Just look at that thing.
No doubt that he could jump straight from that surfboard to all those rocks in the background in that photo. That’s the kind of power, strength, and thrust an ass like that possesses.
Man….y’all think he knew what the narrative was going to be like this week and deliberately posed like that? Thinking, “ah shit – they’re gonna make fun of my sunscreen….UNLESS, I throw this phat ass out there for ’em to talk about.” I will say – gotta work on the pose a bit. It kinda looks like he just forced a fart out, not that robots fart or anything. I’m just saying.
But, anyway….NOPE – we’re still hooked on the sunscreen. Sorry about that, Zuck. But, hey – congrats on the ass.
Finally, I would like to pass along a shout out to RHog for passing this meme along to me:
— cj (@seeejay) July 20, 2020
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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