Are These Covid Helmets Freaking Real?
Listen – I know how journalism works. I’m on one side of the internet – the reader is on the other. I’m supposed to be the one that’s digging into shit and finding answers. That’s kinda the whole point of this thing, right?! A problem arises. A story presents itself. New information comes to light. All causes for big time journalism, and I’m supposed to be the one that compiles it and brings it to you for consumption. But, I gotta be real with you guys today, I saw these covid helmets, and it just completely threw me for a loop. I’m the one that needs answers, and I need them right now.
Is this fucking real? What the hell is this shit? These are like motorcycle helmets….which, I mean….that’s pretty cool in its own right. Maybe this season, the NFL can play on motorcycles? That motorcycle part is probably definitely not real, but in this day and age, I could totally see the NFL putting out special covid helmets. But, there are a lot more questions surrounding this tweet than there are answer.
Who is Stadium? Have they reported anything like this before? They have a blue check mark, so it MUST mean they’re an authority on this kind of thing, at least on the internet. Those are the rules – you have a blue check mark, you are better than the rest of us, AND you are a more credible entity on matters that can be tweeted about. Maybe they’re just messing with us, though – I mean, this does have pretty good joke potential all over it. This would be a great marketing scheme for Stadium, just like that fast food map that Barstool put out a week or so ago that had all of Twitter in a tizzy and half of y’all didn’t even realize it was a troll job.
But, the helmet doesn’t look that bad – it’s part football helmet, part stormtrooper costume, so it’s probably going to go over incredibly well with the Star Wars fans. And, like I alluded to earlier, it could double as a motorcycle helmet. My big concern is whether or not dude’s can breathe in this thing, though. Well, that and the whole, “shouldn’t we know for a fact that these guys DON’T have the covid before they’re on the football field anyway?”
These are the questions we need to be asking ourselves, fellow sheeple. Are we just going to sit idly by while information like this just runs rampant throughout the news cycle and then we forget about it in 24 hours? Or, are we going to take a stand and demand truth? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see how we feel about this tomorrow…
What is Anonymous up to? I think we need them on this one.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley