I’m going to go ahead and say it: a warm Krispy Kreme doughnut is the best doughnut on the planet. I’ve been called an old man for this, but I swear there’s nothing on Earth quite like a warm fresh lemon-filled doughnut. But, you have to get it when it’s hot or else it allows some room for discussion among the world’s elite doughnuts.
Anyway, Krispy Kreme is changing the game.
The doughnut giant has announced a home delivery and online ordering service currently available at stores in 17 states, including Tennessee.
It’s good news and bad news depending on where you live in Tennessee. Currently, the service is offered in the state but only at six locations in three cities.
None of those cities are Nashville, which blows. And, it kinda makes me wonder why I’m even writing this. But, I’ve promised you guys that I will only cover the biggest news stories on this web site and this definitely qualifies. Those cities are Bartlett, Knoxville, and Memphis – so I’m taking Bartlett out of the equation altogether because no one knows where the fuck that is, and I’m taking the average of Knoxville and Memphis to equal Nashville.
Therefore, Nashville logically has to get this service. It is literally the average of the two cities that are getting it first, and that is how science and math work.
Anyway, I’m super pumped for this news. I am not fat enough at my featherly 280 pounds. I need some calories in the morning to wake my ass up. This is perfect, and it’s delicious.
Major round of applause to Krispy Kreme for revolutionizing the entire doughnut game. Unless Dunkin’ can send me a drone that will also personally feed me and wipe the crumbs and lemon goop off of my face, Krispy Kreme is going to win this debate.
The king stays the king.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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