Olive Garden: When You’re Here, You’re Yelling Obscenities at People and Eating Spaghetti With Your Hands

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Olive Garden is in the upper echelon of fancy restaurants. I don’t know that you put it on the Mount Rushmore of fancy restaurants with Red Lobster, Bonefish Grille, Cheddar’s, and P.F. Chang’s taking up that real estate. But, it’s definitely in the conversation.

And for good reason – when you’re there, you’re family.

Or, in the case of this dude, when you’re there, you’re yelling obscenities at people, eating spaghetti with your bare hands, and leaving in a cop car where you’re banging your head against the cage.

Courtesy of The Miami Herald:

According to a police report from the Naples Police Department, officers were dispatched to the restaurant around 3:30 p.m. Sunday about a disturbance. The caller reported that there was a man asking patrons for money outside the establishment and yelling expletives.

When cops arrived, they encountered a shirtless man sitting outside on a bench shoveling spaghetti into his mouth with his hands. The individual, identified as Ben Padgett, smelled like booze, the report said.

The caller, a worker at the eatery named Ronald Worst, told officers that Padgett had been loitering outside, then had come inside and began to cause a scene. Worst told cops that the individual began yelling at him, I could beat your a–,” and asking whether he had male or female sex organs.

Officers asked Padgett what he was doing out there on the bench. According to the arrest report, Padgett would not stop “muttering obscenities” and was placed under arrest for disorderly intoxication.

Before being placed in handcuffs, officers gave Padgett paper towels so that he could clean the pasta off of his face.

While in the back of the patrol car, the suspect began to twist his body violently, kick his legs and smash his head against the metal cage partition, causing his forehead to bleed, said the affidavit.

You just can’t be yourself in America anymore, can you?

Back in my day it was perfectly acceptable to get blackout drunk and yell at people at an Olive Garden at 3:30PM on a Sunday. Where the fuck do y’all think the term ‘Sunday Funday’ came from?!?! Sunday Funday was fuckin’ BORN at Olive Garden!

I will say…..shoveling spaghetti into your mouth with your bare hands is one thing. Doing it shirtless is a completely different ordeal – put a shirt on, heathen. Show some class. This would’ve been PERFECT if homie’s name was ‘Ben Spaghet’ though.

This is my first time hearing of ‘disorderly intoxication.’ IF that shit’s real, then I’m in trouble. I’m rarely orderly when intoxicated. In fact, I’m very disorderly. So, if they can arrest you for that in 2019, I’m going to jail. With a back end like mine, I won’t last long….at least not without functioning intestines.

At least they gave Mr. Spaghetti a chance to clean off his face before he busted it open and bled everywhere.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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Courtesy of Jason Leung on Unsplash!

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