Well, well, well SoBros Nation – here we are. Yet another story involving a brave vigilante standing up to the big machine. Yep. That’s exactly what we have on our hands today….this story about a woman who decided to bust some windows out with a baseball bat because they ran out of beef patties.
You gotta do what you gotta do when it comes to Jamaican food.
Courtesy of our buddies at WKRN:
A woman who couldn’t get a beef patty at a favorite New York eatery used a baseball bat in protest.
On Saturday, police released surveillance video of the woman in action in the Bronx — smashing a restaurant’s windows after learning the eatery had run out of her favorite food.
Police say the woman at the Back Home restaurant in the Morrisania neighborhood came in on the afternoon of Jan. 15 and ordered a patty. She was told they’d run out, and she got upset.
Authorities say she left and came back to the Jamaican restaurant with the bat. The video shows a woman bashing in two windows.
She fled and police were still searching for her on Saturday.
Yeah….yeah, this checks out. Sounds like the completely rational reaction to being confronted with such a situation.
Listen – have any of y’all tried to file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau before?
That’s what I thought. Sit down.
That shit takes too long. The BBB doesn’t actually care about consumers. It only cares about business and doing it better. It’s literally in the title of their organization.
So, sure – this lady could’ve gone home, opened up her MacBook, and typed an e-mail. But, by the time the BBB would’ve gotten around to her, this Jamaican restaurant probably would’ve had beef patties again and said, “I dunno what you’re talkin’ about, BBB. We have plenty of beef!” And then, the BBB would probably be all like, “ah, shit – my bad. Carry on!”
That’s just a simulation of what I imagine the conversation would’ve been like based on my experience with the BBB (which has involved me answering phone calls from them trying to get me to sign up with them). I guess you could say I’m an expert, but back to the story…
NO! Sometimes, a situation can be so dire that it requires IMMEDIATE attention and action. So, you send a fucking message. You pick up a baseball bat and you run that sumbitch right through the window. Gurl, I gotchu.
Also, shout out to Josh Breslow. I see you doing the real journalism.
Also also, the number of times I typed ‘BBW’ instead of ‘BBB’ was kind of alarming. Some sort of Freudian slip that has me thinking I need to have a conversation with my therapist just as soon as I can erase my browser history.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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