The Dollar Hurricane Is Back at Applebee’s in Case You Needed a Reason to Fucking Die

 In Humor

Y’ALL. Applebee’s done gone and done did it AGAIN! Last year, they resurrected the Dollarita. This year, the dollar hurricane is making its debut, as the esteemed and prestigious casual dining chain apparently still wants people to die.

Courtesy of GoldenGOAT Articles:

The trendy restaurant and bar has introduced something new for their drink special of the month, one that will be available until March 5th to celebrate New Orleans’ largest holiday. The Dollar Hurricane is served in a 10-ounce mug and mixes rum with passion fruit, orange, black cherry, and lime juices. Featured with your choice of a masked stirrer or Mardi Gras beads.

From Feburary 1st through March 5th, be sure to stop by any Applebee’s to get the festive drink for only $1. The famous hurricane alcoholic beverage, created in New Orleans during World War 2 at Pat O’Brian’s Pub, will help you celebrate Mardi Gras no matter where you are.

Okay! LFG!

Can’t go to my Applebee’s out here in Hermitage because that place fuckin’ burned down a couple years ago. Instead of rebuilding, they just said screw it. That place still sits in the same spot, still charred from the fire, and it makes me sad every time I see it.

It’s a constant reminder that there’s nowhere nearby for me to go get a quesadilla burger and a giant Brewtus of Sam Adams for less than $10 on a Friday night. Fucking Millenials. And fires.

Anyway, this doesn’t have to be a mopey sad article. We should be rejoicing the dollar hurricane. It even comes with mardi gras beads if you so choose – I wonder if that means you might see some tiddies at Applebee’s now? Wouldn’t be the first time. Y’all just don’t know how wild that Hermitage Applebee’s got back in the day.

Also, if you don’t like Applebee’s then you can GTFO of here. It was the unquestioned champion of casual dining. They don’t call it the neighborhood grille or whatever FOR NOTHIN!

Quit hating.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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