Is this the worst headline I’ve ever written? Our SEO plugin sure is yelling at me for it. I mean, it is so long that I can’t fit the headline AND the link into a single tweet. My GOD. Kicking off 2019 on the right foot. We haven’t added anyone to the Clutch Hall of Fame in nearly two years – seriously, it’s been since the Preds announced that James Neal was taking shots directly into his hand before every playoff game back on that miracle run the year the Preds went to the Stanley Cup Final.
We haven’t had a whole lot of serious candidates come along, mainly because I forget that the Clutch Hall of Fame exists sometimes. That’s on me. I shouldn’t act like there’s not a lot of clutch people out there in the world. That’s irresponsible journalism on my part. Anyway, check out this dude not givin’ a flip when he walks into a convenience store only to find a dude pointing a gun at his face.
As usual, here’s a link in case Instagram takes this video down.
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Robber: “Do you want to die?” Dad: “No, I want beef jerky.” @ClassicDadMoves #Priorities
Truthfully, I may have jumped the gun on calling this ‘clutch.’ It’s more like ‘oblivious.’ Clutch would mean he stared down the criminal and refused to yield. Did dude even look at the guy?
Like, did this man even notice the kid flashing his piece in his face? Or, is he so focused on snacks that he wouldn’t have sensed an earthquake? We’ll never know. I also love that he pulls the old hand-on-the-belly, browsing-snacks pose as he waddles through the store. He’s clearly more concerned about finding the Funyuns than eating a bullet. Shout out to this thief, though. He could’ve easily shot the guy. It probably would’ve been the smart move to make based on what I’ve seen of crime shows. Instead, he just breezed right by – a move I’m sure signifies how much respect he has for this dad.
Real recognize real.
Oh, and in case you didn’t gather it, I have talked myself out of putting this dad in the Clutch Hall of Fame.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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