Here’s My Official and Professional Review of ‘Reindeer Games’ at HQ

 In Nashville

The Christmas pop-up bars in Nashville are all the rage this season. We wrote about them earlier in the month, and it was one of our most popular features of the month. It moves the needle, plain and simple – I said I was going to check them out, and on Friday night, I did just that. I went on over to Reindeer Games at HQ. Now, HQ is one of my favorite spots in Nashville to begin with. So, my sense of anticipation was through the roof.

I am still not the Editor of Eater Nashville, but since we do post establishment reviews here on occasion, I figure this is an opportune moment to run it here. I hope Eater Nashville doesn’t expect me to forget their shrugging me off once TIME magazine calls to run this piece in their ‘Best of 2018’ issue. Anyway, what follows is journalism of the purest variety.

First things first, I was completely drunk before the thought of going to Reindeer Games even crossed my mind.

That’s what you need to know first and foremost, the most important detail of this story. I was a complete five-star hot mess express. See, it was the company Christmas party (at the day job), and we decided to have it Buffalo’s Billiards, where I’ve spent roughly five million doll hairs over the last four years. It was #GinFriday, so I was about eight deep in gin and tonics. But my boys at Buffalo’s were pouring ’em strong, so in actuality, I probably had about eight pints of straight gin, and then took over the jukebox.

For the record, I only play 80s pop, 90s R&B, and trap music when I get a hold of a jukebox. “Africa” by Toto, “Trap Queen” by Fetty Wap, and then “Bump and Grind” by R. Kelly – man, I was feeling good (even if I was creating a really weird mood in the bar). As a PSA, if you’re ever with me at a bar and you hear Ginuwine’s “Pony” come on, that’s the signal. That’s when you know I have crossed that threshold, and it’s also a red flag to check my pants for boners. Help your boy out – I don’t want to be walking around Nashville all night exposed like that. Maybe play some Oak Ridge Boys to calm things down.

So, I play “Pony” and am subsequently high on life and ready to GO. The fellas decided we’d head down to HQ to scope it out and see what all the fuss is about.

Oh wait – I still haven’t told you exactly what Reindeer Games is? Shit, my bad!

Courtesy of the reigning SoBro of the Year, WKRN:

On 2nd Avenue, Headquarters Beercade has been turned into a winter wonderland called, “Reindeer Games.”

It’s truly like a Christmas explosion with 3-D displays and Christmas movies playing on the big screen and of course they have Christmas-themed cocktails.

There’s the Red Ryder Rose which is a it’s spiced rose served hot and Santa’s snack, which is basically an adult milkshake served with cookies.

It really is impossible not to be jolly when you walk inside.

It was a delightful experience. I barely remember it, of course. But, the blur of bright red, green, and white light was like a beautiful Thomas Kinkade painting in my mind. The second floor was roped off, and I found this out by walking into the chain draped across the rail and nearly falling face first onto the concrete stairs. Good thing I didn’t have the boner anymore because I was out of earshot from “Pony.”

We ordered another round of drinks, another G&T for me ’cause #GinFriday. Probably looked like a big fuckin’ weirdo looking at the comics plastered to the wall in the bathroom. But, oh well. The crew found the bubble hockey table and poured a ton of dollars into it. So, essentially, I walked in sloppy, played bubble hockey for an hour, and left. It seemed like everyone was having fun and that’s really what matters.

This experience warrants an arousing 10/10.

I returned home, ate a bowl of chili and belly laughed watching Get Him to the Greek while my girlfriend looked at me like I was a total monster and wild animal. I woke up at 4AM to puke approximately eight times. My ancestors are undoubtedly proud.

Thank you for reading this piece of professional journalism today. It is some of my greatest work and I will be legitimately disappointed if I don’t win a Pulitzer, Emmy, Grammy, or a VMA for writing it.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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