I just simply can’t believe we’re on the fifth year of Ridiculously Fabricated Bowl Names. It’s honestly one of my favorite pieces we run every year. Just because it’s so absurd and fun, but I don’t think I’ll ever write a better intro than I did two years ago.
College football is weird, man. Not only can you not have a winning season and make it to a bowl game, but the millions of dollars floating around these games have created some pretty interesting names for the bowls themselves. There’s The Famous Idaho Potato Bowl, The Dollar General Bowl, The Motel 6 Cactus Bowl, and The Nova Home Loans Arizona Bowl just to name a few. Those are real bowl names, too!
We haven’t even started listing our fake bowl names. That is real – and it’s a testament to the power of the dollar.
For the right price, you could slap any name on any bowl game, and ESPN and the NCAA would run with it. How else do you think the AdvoCare V100 Texas Bowl came to fruition?
So, yeah – what we’re doing here is providing a little bit of humor to get you through your work day. But, it’s also a bit of social commentary on the absurdity of the 80+ college football bowl games we’re getting ready to witness. It’s my favorite piece of the year.
On top of all of that, they hand out some really odd trophies. “Congrats on the fine season! Here’s this giant, polished BOWL OF ORANGES!” That tradition is made even weirder by the fact that the head coach, MVP, or someone usually starts taking the oranges out of the bowl and throwing them around to teammates. When did this become a thing?
Yeah – it’s crazy, but let’s cut the bullshit and get down to brass tax – what follows is literally just a list of made-up bowl games. So, if you’re not into that, best be GTFO right now.
Ridiculously Fabricated Bowl Names, Year 5
Big Natural’s Submissions
- The Scrubbin’ Bubbles Poison Bowl
- The Houston’s Meat Market Durag Bowl
- The Berry Bowl Sponsored by Mama’s Family on DVD
- The Planned Parenthood Raising Arizona Bowl
- Ginuwine presents The West Texas Fuckfest Football Classic
- The Kraft Cheese Wreck It Ralph Bowl
- The Midnight Express Old Lady Titty Bowl
- The Maxwell House Shiddin’ and Fardin’ Bowl
- The Charmin Andy Griffith Bowl
- The IKEA Spirit of Township Bowl
- The Toucan Sam Ambidextrous Bowl
- Gary Oldman presents The Choir Bowl
- The Osh Kosh B’Gosh Coffee Bowl
- The Autotrader.com Pistol Whip Bowl
- The George Jones Museum Possum Bowl
- The Minnesota Twins Goop Bowl
- The Adobe Illustrator Spirit of Christmas Bowl
- The Marvel Comics Tornado Bowl
- The Tulip Bowl sponsored by LittleFoot in theaters now
- The KFC John Denver Bowl
Nature Boy’s Submissions
- The Taco Bell Gives My Butt An Aching Bowl
- The Do These Levi’s Show My Moose Knuckle Bowl
- The Cook’s Market Soiled Marble Floors Bowl
- The Fleshly Hello Kitty Fur Ball Bowl
- The Whiskey Dick Drooping Sunflower Bowl
- Brutus the Barber Beef N’ Bits Dog Bowl
- Stan Lee Has A Stench For A Superpower Now Bowl
Mose’s Submissions
- The Brazzers Bowl (could you imagine the gift bags?)
- The Hot Lunch Bowl
- The Chinet Bowl
Beta Ray Greg’s Submissions
- The Ravin Hotel Hooker Bowl
- Big Natural’s Nature Boy Bowl
- Cleveland Browns Toilet Bowl
- Megan Berry’s Smash Bowl
- That one scooter that follows fucking traffic laws Bowl
- American Express hates poor people bowl
- The Dooky Boys General Pee Clogged Bowl
So, who had the best list? Give us your thoughts in words, people.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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