Don’t Knock It ’til You Try It: Running Naked With Oreos Wedged in Your Butt
Oreos really are a dynamic snack. You can eat them as they are, you can dip them into milk, you can crumble up and sprinkle them onto a cake. Or, you can wedge them into your butt crack and run naked across a field. That’s what makes the Oreo so beautiful – you really can do just about anything with it.
Ten football players at a Northern Illinois high school were suspended from the team for three games last month after they ran across a field naked with Oreo cookies wedged between their buttocks.
The Rockford Register Star reports that the Byron High School players were suspended for indecent exposure but that school administrators concluded they went on the “Oreo Run” at the school’s football field voluntarily and were not victims of hazing.
I say don’t knock it ’til you try it. You never know – I mean, listen….people put cream in their butts all the time to make them feel better. Perhaps there’s some sort of therapeutic value in having cream and cookies jammed in your crack.
And, we all know how free it feels to sprint naked through a field. Right?
I’m just saying – perhaps suspending these players was just a bit too much. Indecent exposure, shmindecent shmexposure. It’s only a crime if it’s in public. Last I checked, this is America – land of the free and home of the brave. As a sign of solidarity, I’m going to go cram Oreos up my butt right this instant.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley