Darts Championship Mired in Farting Controversy
We only cover the most important news stories and the biggest sporting events in history here on SoBros Network. So, naturally, we couldn’t let ‘fartgate’ at the darts championship go without commentary. This is quite the dilemma for professional sports everywhere.
Two pro dart players have accused each other of farting on stage during a match in England this week — casting a cloud of controversy over the heralded tournament.
Okay, let’s just let that last statement sink in for a minute.
Now, I want you to imagine stepping up to a dartboard only to smell a noxious odor. That odor is someone’s fart. It would completely throw you off your game. Therefore, it is a distinct advantage if you’re blowing ass every time you leave the playing field. So, before you go laughing at this story, thinking it isn’t serious, think about that.
“If the boy thinks I’ve farted, he’s 1,010 percent wrong,” said Anderson, who’s ranked the world’s No. 4 dart player, and moved on to the quarterfinals. “I swear on my children’s lives that it was not my fault. I had a bad stomach once on stage before and admitted it. So I’m not going to lie about farting on stage.”
He continued: “Usually if I fart on stage, I s—t myself, I’ve told you that before,” the Express UK reported.
Wait, what? Is that a known thing? That’s how he’s deflecting these accusations? “Couldn’t be true or there’d be shit on the stage, guys. Y’all know that. Come on.” I don’t know that that’s something I’d go around telling people that, but then again, you have to be honest as an elite athlete. “Egg farts” probably showed up on the injury report that day.
Obviously, they have to get to the bottom of this, whoever ‘they’ is….
“We’ve got to get to the bottom of this,” the UK’s Professional Darts Corporation chairman Barry Hearn quipped, according to the BBC.
“Something doesn’t smell right,” he added.
You think this is a time for fucking jokes, Barry? I want real detective work, so #BeBetter and solve this crime. Yes, I’m calling it a crime because it’s practically a crime.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley