Since I started writing about sports all the way back in 2013, I’ve been running this yearly feature. Since Thanksgiving is a time for reflection, I’ve taken the liberty to provide one thing that each NFL team and/or its fan base should be looking at as a blessing.
What Each NFL Team Should Be Thankful for This Thanksgiving
Arizona Cardinals – Not really a whole hell of a lot for Cardinals fans to be thankful for this year, so why don’t we broaden our scope and take a look at the grand landscape of NFL history? Larry Fitzgerald recently moved to second on the all-time receiving yards list, only behind 49ers legend Jerry Rice. This dude has been a model of consistency, a stand-up dude, and one of the greatest men to ever line up in the NFL. Be thankful he’s your’s, Arizona.
Atlanta Falcons – Gotta be the Matt Ryan meltdown. If not for this comedy gold, what would we have to write about?
matt ryan was mic’d up during his melt down on the sideline pic.twitter.com/fKhALYBRDn
— LLJF Out Now (@leauxtarantino) November 11, 2018
That’s about the most exciting thing going for the Falcons right.
Baltimore Ravens – Ravens fans should undoubtedly be thankful that the AFC race is still very much wide open. They’re still somehow alive and well in the thick of it, though they’ve lost three in a row.
Buffalo Bills – The Bills quarterback situation has been outright tragic this year. Just be thankful you no longer have to watch Nathan Peterman anymore.
Carolina Panthers – The obvious answer here is Christian McCaffrey, but I’m going to go with the fashion sense of Cam Newton. It just keeps you guessing. You never really know what you’re going to see, and really, that’s what life is all about – excitement. Also, on a personal note, I am incredibly thankful that we have this:
#Panthers DT Kyle Love fell asleep on the bench. pic.twitter.com/nfi0uYOqgO
— NFL Update (@MySportsUpdate) November 9, 2018
He’s denying that he fell asleep, and in fairness maybe he’s right. But, come on – this shit is funny.
Chicago Bears – Bears fans actually have a lot to be thankful for this year. Matt Nagy seems to be working out. The Raiders are dumbasses and traded Khalil Mack to the Bears. But, for me, it’s about titties. Bears fans should be thankful for titties….because if Mitchell Trubisky didn’t love kissin’ titties, the second year quarterback might not be as happy. And we all know we perform better when we’re happy.
Cincinnati Bengals – Hue…Jackson….? I don’t know…I mean, like the Ravens, the Bengals should be thanking their lucky stars that the AFC wild card race is still pretty much wide open. They were throttled by the Saints and are still holding onto that #6 spot. But, how about we just slot Ickey Woods here and call it a day?
Cleveland Browns – The Browns have their guy, baby. That’s what Browns fans should be thankful for this year – the pure sex that is Baker Mayfield.
Dallas Cowboys – You guys should be thankful for Michael Irvin, because I’m pretty sure he would literally die for you all.
Where are all u suckers out there now as the @dallascowboys just beat the WORLD CHAMPIONS @Eagles. I know this is @stephenasmith old city and I am sure he has love for this squad. Also that @Titans loss look less bad after they beat @Patriots today #StillFighting #stillalive
— Michael Irvin (@michaelirvin88) November 12, 2018
Denver Broncos – That 2-0 start feels like an eternity ago doesn’t it, Broncos fans? The team is 1-6 since, and they aren’t exactly looking good. But, hey – you guys have some promising youngsters on the roster in Phillip Lindsay and Bradley Chubb. Plus, your uniforms are, like, really cool.
Detroit Lions – Are the Lions going to be good or not? Are they the team that mauled the Patriots or are they going to stink? Who knows? But while this team is still developing, let’s take a moment to appreciate the beauty of Matt Patricia:
Green Bay Packers – Every year, Aaron Rodgers could be the answer here. Hell, Rodgers should be the answer every year. Packers fans should thank their lucky stars they’ve been treated to two of the greatest of all time under center for the last 20+ years. You know what? Screw it – that’s going to be my answer. Let’s roll with it – Rodgers and Brett Favre.
Houston Texans – I’m going to be serious for this one, because this is a hill that I am beginning to find the will to die on. DeAndre Hopkins is the greatest wide receiver in the game of American football. Real talk only.
Indianapolis Colts – I’m just going to leave this clip of Quenton Nelson here:
If this audio of Quenton Nelson taking this dudes soul is legit, he’s my favorite lineman of all time. I mean, this is amazing. pic.twitter.com/otby48qGLN
— Geoff Schwartz (@geoffschwartz) November 12, 2018
Also, hi Jake:
My boy @JakeArthurNFL thinks to himself, “ahh shit… how embarrassing”. pic.twitter.com/Y6MuymGdGa
— Willie Amos (@WillieWanKenobi) November 13, 2018
Jacksonville Jaguars – Be thankful for 2017, because y’all sure fuckin’ suck in 2018.
Kansas City Chiefs – This is going to be baby Andy Reid for as long as I write this column. I can promise you of that.
Los Angeles Chargers – Be thankful y’all get another crack at the Chiefs this year, because I think you guys can take ’em. That’s not just because I picked you guys to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl either. Actually, mainly it is. I want to look like a genius, but for real – you guys are playing great football right now.
Los Angeles Rams – Everyone on the Rams and Chiefs rosters should be thankful that they don’t have to play on that soupy field in Mexico City, but holy shit. Can we take a moment to appreciate how truly special Todd Gurley is? Rams fans should be ecstatic to have him – certainly feels like we’re watching this guy ascend to the greatest back in the NFL.
Miami Dolphins – Be thankful for thunderstorms. That win over Tennessee to start the season could come into play come season’s end. Also, be thankful for no bad weather interference since. So….wait…what are we really thankful for here? Don Shula. That’s the answer.
Minnesota Vikings – No doubt that having Dalvin Cook is going to give this offense a boost, so there’s definitely room to appreciate his return. This is a team that’s holding down the #6 spot in the NFC right now, but if they can amp it up a notch, could be poised to go on a run here.
New England Patriots – Pats fans, why don’t you guys be thankful for fun. Because if not for fun, you would’ve left Nashville with nothing.
Someone come get their wife pic.twitter.com/rrEoh5XVTR
— NFL Memes (@NFL_Memes) November 11, 2018
But, at least everyone had fun.
New Orleans Saints – Let’s give a shout out to Joe Horn for one of the greatest touchdown celebrations of all time! And, an additional shout out to Michael Thomas for recreating it earlier this season.
He brought back the Joe Horn!!! pic.twitter.com/3iQZZRKczd
— Banks (@BarstoolBanks) November 5, 2018
New York Giants – FFS, let’s just be thankful for that awesome thriller against San Francisco and move on. There ain’t a whole hell of a lot else to be thankful for if you’re a Giants fan this season. At least you don’t have Benny with the good hair anymore?
New York Jets – At least y’all aren’t this bad, right?
#TBT
This #ButtFumble edit is AMAZING #Patriots pic.twitter.com/bzTGV0aKq5— Sarah GRONKowski (@SarahGronkowski) July 7, 2017
Oakland Raiders – Where do we begin with the 2018 Oakland Raiders? I mean, my goodness, they are awful. One of the worst Raider teams I can recall ever seeing. Just be thankful that the NFL Draft exists or else what would you guys give away all your best players for?
Philadelphia Eagles – At 4-5, maybe it’s time we just sit back and rest on, “hey, we won the Super Bowl last year,” or y’all still think it’s too soon for that? I guess you could also be thankful that your own people haven’t successfully burned the city down, too…..yet.
Pittsburgh Steelers – There is one man, and one man only, who can get this spot this year and that’s James Conner. What a story – I hate the Steelers and I can’t help but root for this kid. He’s given the Steelers all the leverage in the gross Le’Veon Bell situation. Now, he’s not going to play all season, and the Steelers are just fine with that. Conner is currently the third leading rusher in the NFL. My goodness, Steelers fans. Let’s celebrate this guy! To James Conner!
San Francisco 49ers – How about the surprise sensation that is Nick Mullens?
GIVE ME ALL OF THE NICK MULLENS TOUCHDOWNS
(via @thecheckdown) pic.twitter.com/t8LZvny7Zp
— Simms & Lefkoe (@SimmsAndLefkoe) November 13, 2018
Nick Mullens just did an Elvis slide into his first completion @NickMullens pic.twitter.com/nutgS7f2DL
— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) November 13, 2018
Sure, this season is lost for the 49ers, but you guys are about to have some fun watching this kid play the way that he does. Plus, assuming he keeps this up, there’s going to be a nice little trade market for the kid come season’s end. You just may get something nice out of this after all.
Seattle Seahawks – Yeesh. This year’s Seahawks are so plain Jane that it makes it hard to find something to really celebrate. They aren’t bad, so we can’t really make funnies. But, they aren’t really good either, so nothing truly stands out. You could be thankful for that 2013 team, one of the most dominant defenses I’ve ever seen. You could be thankful that Jeffrey Dean Morgan is a big time HAWKS fan. But, I’m going to show some love to this emerging backfield that’s helping the Seahawks get back to Beast Mode form.
The @Seahawks are the only team in the NFL to have three different players rush for at least 100 yards in a game this season: @pennyhendrixx, @ccarson_32 and @MikeDavisRB. #GoHawks pic.twitter.com/onqQONji1N
— Seahawks PR (@seahawksPR) November 13, 2018
Tampa Bay Buccaneers – The poor Bucs don’t really look like they have a whole lot going for them right now. After starting the season 2-0, they have absolutely plummeted. Don’t want to pile on here, but I really have no idea how this team beat the New Orleans Saints. Nonetheless, I’m going to hark back to that glorious start and the unmitigated machismo of Ryan Fitzpatrick to provide what Bucs fans should be thankful for this year.
Tennessee Titans – If you’re a Titans fan, you have to be thankful for the BDE of this coaching staff – Mike Vrabel has BDE, Matt LaFleur has BDE, and Dean Pees has BDE. The BDE Titans showing up BIG TIME during that 3-1 start and the last two games. That same BDE is what could ultimately take this franchise to the next step.
The Marcus Mariota 21-yard catch.pic.twitter.com/dMPiSiEDyS
— Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman) November 11, 2018
Washington Redskins – DE-FENSE! *stomp stomp* DE-FENSE! *stomp stomp* – man, that R-Words team is brutally banged up. But, this defense is something else. They couldn’t get anything going against the lowly Bucs, but it didn’t matter. They were out-gained by 215 yards, but were able to take advantage of four Tampa Bay turnovers. Also, be thankful for a weak NFC East – Washington is clearly the best team in this division and their defense should carry them to a home playoff game.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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