The Oregon State Beavers are the absolute worst team in the Pac-12. They’re 2-7, and somehow got a win over a pretty decent Colorado team that should go to a bowl game. Their only other win came against an inferior Southern Utah squad. With Stanford, Washington, and Oregon remaining on the schedule, this team is going 2-10. But, when you suck at the actual football, you have to do something to lure in recruits. Enter the turnover chainsaw.
The turnover chainsaw is definitely an OSHA violation. pic.twitter.com/tzmF4E42Af
— Ryan Gaydos (@RyanGaydos) November 4, 2018
The Beavers have been getting GASHED all season. Like, most of their games haven’t even been remotely competitive. They allowed an Ohio State team that isn’t really all that good to hang 77 points on ’em. How do you get your team pumped up to play games when you flat stink?
Bring a fuckin’ chainsaw to the game! Tell your defense if anyone gets a turnover, they get to run around the field with a chainsaw! It’s genius, really, but it does beg a certain question.
Where does this rank in terms of all the crazy turnover gimmicks?
Well, personally, I think it’s the best. Sure, you may think it’s a total psycho move to bring a chainsaw to the sideline of a football game. But, honestly, it’s the most useful item of all these gimmicks. I’m still a fan of Alabama’s Ball Out Belt (do we even still do that?), but a chainsaw is infinitely more useful than a belt. Same for Miami’s turnover chain. While Florida State’s turnover purse could be used to collect, store, and easily transport your dried goods, it’s not going to help you cut down the goal posts if you actually win the Civil War at the end of the season.
So, with that in mind, congrats to the Beavers for having the coolest turnover gimmick and now being the college football team most likely to have a horror movie written about it.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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