Tank the 401k: Limp Bizkit’s Hit “Rollin'” Edition
Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into my weekly American football column, Tank the 401k. Here, I will divulge all my professional eagle-eyed opinions on the upcoming week. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts!
I am on one, boys and girls, as the kids say. I don’t know that I’ve ever gone on a 14-1 streak, and I keep saying it every week…this is your chance to get off the train ahead! 75% on the season, and your boy is going to pull a Limp Bizkit and just keep rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ WHAT.
BIG NATURAL’S TANK THE 401K PICKS
NCAAF: Alabama-Mississippi State, OVER 52.5 – The Bulldogs boast one of the nation’s most surprising defenses, allowing just 12.3 points per game. But, man – they haven’t played an offense like Alabama’s yet. I don’t think the Tide will have a problem hanging 40 on them. Considering that the Bulldogs are averaging just under 30 points per game on offense, I don’t think they’ll have a problem putting at least 14 on the board. Then again, the Tide defense could pitch a shutout and the offense is still capable of covering.
NCAAF: Boston College +20 vs. Clemson – I’ve been low on Clemson all season long. To the point, I’ve been labeled a “hater.” But, I’m sorry – I just don’t see a championship team. I see a good team that has taken advantage of an incredibly weak schedule. What’s their best win? A four point victory over Syracuse? A two point win over Texas A&M? Do you guys really think NC State is good? I’m just saying – pump the brakes on calling them a legit contender to dethrone Alabama.
This road trip to Boston College is a potential trap game. BC may be the second best team in the ACC in what has been a big down year for the conference as a whole. But, they’re 5-0 at home where they’re playing much better defense than they are on the road. I wouldn’t be surprised to see ’em steal one here, but at worst, I think it’s a 10-point win for Clemson. So, yeah – give me those 20 points.
NFL: Carolina +4 @ Pittsburgh – I’m going to keep riding this Panthers train. This is a damn good team, and I’m maintaining their candidacy as a dark horse Super Bowl contender.
NFL: Washington +3 @ Tampa Bay – Yeesh – we going to devalue the Redskins this much because of that Falcons game last week? I still say this is too good a defense to lose to the turnover-prone Bucs. The quarterbacks have thrown a league-high 17 interceptions, and look who’s coming to town – a Washington secondary that includes the league-leading interceptor, D.J. Swearinger, and new addition Ha Ha Clinton-Dix. I like the R-Words to capitalize on that match-up.
NFL: Atlanta -4 @ Cleveland – Stop me if you’ve heard this before, but the Browns seem to be in complete disarray. The Falcons have shown what they’re capable of when they’re clicking on offense, and guess what. They’re clicking on offense. This should be an easy win for the Dirty Birds, but man – I hate picking so many road dogs this week.
W-L Record: (8-1-1)
Last Week: (4-1)
On the Season: (36-12-1) – 75%
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley