Thought I would pass along an excellent life hack today. Since June, I’ve been trying to lead a much healthier lifestyle. Why? Because stress led me to drinking which led to a huge weight gain which led to routine inactivity and a constant feeling of fatigue. Plus, I started having anxiety attacks again, so that was the moment for me. That’s when I knew I had to shape up. I’ve since cleaned up my diet a bit, have gotten back in the gym, and am sheddin’ those pounds like crazy. But, the most encouraging thing is to feel like I’m getting my strength back. Like the real punch-through-a-brick-wall strength I had when I was a much younger man.
Well, in search of a cleaner snacking option, I found one that in no uncertain terms, outright fucks:
That’s right, y’all. That is a damn Lunchable for grown-ups.
Who remembers Lunchables? They were phenomenal when I was a kid. Still are. I just have to limit myself on how many pizza Lunchables I buy in one trip. They’re addicting. If I’m not careful, I will come home from Kroger with enough pizza Lunchables to feed a small country, and that is plain and simply unacceptable.
Also, that’s weird and I’m just realizing it as I type this. Like, I have no qualms about hitting up Rick’s Comic City and buying a stack of comic books. But, for some reason, the pizza Lunchables are where I draw the line. That shit is too childish…but the comic books aren’t. I’m a weird dude.
Regardless, that’s more stress that’s been dissolved in my life. And, if you’re like me, and have this weird hangup on getting actual Lunchables, Hillshire snacking is the shit for you.
Prosciutto, some cheese, and a little…bread…crouton…cracker thing (#Journalism). It’s so good – even bought one out of the break room at the day job that had some salami in it. Instead of fawning over the Lunchables and tormenting myself over my lack of maturity, I bought one of these and got the best of both worlds.
I feel much healthier because of it.
DISCLAIMER: I actually have no idea if these things are healthy, but I am assuming that it is at least healthier than eating an entire pizza from Papa John’s alone, which is a big step up from where I was back in the spring. Regardless, Hillshire snacking fucks.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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