The SoBros Mailbag: 33rd Edition – Candy, Awards, and Basketball Edition

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Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, use #SoBrosMailbag to hit us up on Twitter.

Question:

Answer:

Good question, Cad. Thank you for asking – ‘basketball’ is a professional sport in which grown men throw peaches into a peach basket that is nailed to a pole. If you make it in the basket, or alternatively titled “bucket,” then you get points. What type of fantasy league are you in?

Question:

Answer:

Obviously – the fact that we did not win ‘Best Blog’ in this year’s Nashville Scene Awards is a clear indicator that the voting was rigged. But, I’m more disappointed that we didn’t win ‘Best Pizza.’ That said, I guess Five Points is good and all…

Question:

Answer:

Mine – Lindt white chocolate truffles. Inject that shit into my veins. Get me a strand of lindt white chocolate truffle anal beads. Whatever.
“Nature Boy” Brandon Vick – white chocolate Reese’s
Cadbury – Reese’s FTW
Rubber Rooster – Gummy bears
Herbie Brooks – Tie between Reese’s and Snickers
Mose – Twix but Reese’s is right there
Smokey – Reese’s is the best. I like to melt them and smear them on my face.

Question:

Answer:

His music or his beauty? Because both are pretty underrated, but I don’t think McKnight gets the credit for being the bastion of handsomeness that he is.

Question:

Answer:

The Blair Witch Project.

Question:

Answer:

Call me an old soul, Steven, but I’m going with those little orange and black wrapped peanut butter candies as underrated. Not only are they delicious, but the only time of the year you can get ’em is Halloween. Builds anticipation and delivers in the taste department. That said, I realize I’m an old man. I like rum raisin ice cream and Werther’s too. Constantly reminded of how I like “old people candy.” As for the overrated candy, I’m going to go with Good & Plenty – do they even still make that shit? I remember being a kid, and getting it at every other house like it was some sort of hit. That stuff was awful, and I have no idea why it was even a thing. I may be showing my age a bit with that one.

Also, I like Armondo’s answer to this one, too:

Question:

Answer:

Maybe it’s because House of 1000 Corpses is still fresh on my mind, but I could totally see RighteousJesse delivering ‘tiny fucked a stump’ like a damned champion.

Question:

Answer:

Whew – tough question, Brent. I’ll go with the easy part first. “Nature Boy” Brandon Vick was undoubtedly the kid who took more than one candy from the houses where no one was home. But, only if it was good candy.

Now, onto the tough one…

Mine – Bigfoot.
Brandon – Jack Nicholson.
Poppa Bear – Bear Bryant.
Cadbury – Pee Wee Herman.
Rooster – Cardinal Copia from Ghost.
Herbie – Preds legend Peter Forsberg.
Mose – General Patton…because he’s now “The General” of SoBros Network even though it has nothing to do with military service whatsoever.
Smokey – Smokey has to be Smokey…too easy.
Huffman – Brett Favre. Don’t worry – not “dick pic Brett Favre,” but “Packers legend” Brett Favre.
Stephen Jensen – The new guy has to be John Goodman. Sorry, Stephen – I don’t write the rules. That’s just how it goes.

Question:

Answer:

I was “Macho Man” Randy Savage one year, but it was before costumes were as cool as they are today. Much less comfortable, too. I had one of those hard ass plastic masks that made my face itch so bad I had to take the mask off and then no one knew who I was. Just some kid running around in a bright multi-colored neon onesie.

Keep the questions coming using #SoBrosMailbag – catch y’all next week!

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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