Ever had dead grandparents cookies? Then, I guess you don’t go to DaVinci High School out in California. That’s where, apparently, some kids (fuckin’ teenagers) conspired to bake cookies containing one of their grandparents’ dead ass ashes. YEESH.
According to student testimony, two DaVinci High School students were part of a morbid plan to bake and distribute sugar cookies — with one student’s grandparent’s cremated remains inside.
Police say the treats were handed out to at least nine students and while they’re still working to confirm the claims, they’ll also have to figure out what crime was committed.
“This is so unconventional it would take more research,” Davis Police Lt. Paul Doroshov told KOVR.
He added, “I have not heard of anyone getting sick or anybody being harmed as far as physically, physiologically by this.”
The cookies have not been tested yet.
Wait – student testimony? So, like….we don’t even know if this is real? Bummer.
Oh well….when has something as unimportant as “fact” stopped us from writing before? Let’s break this down.
This is like Mean Girls meets Tales from the Crypt. Or, more aptly perhaps…Game of Thrones. I’m pretty sure that’s what George R.R. Martin based his books off of. Probably sat down one day and was like, “what would happen if Mean Girls existed in the Tales from the Crypt universe?” Then, POOF – Game of Thrones was born. Anyway, I’m straying from our topic here.
My larger point is that this is some Arya Stark level alpha shit right here. Why, though?
What do you have to feel towards your family to think mixing up granny in the next batch of cookies is an acceptable thing to do? Also, I hope those kids that ate the cookies know they are now cannibals. That’s a shame. They’re probably going to go to jail for a really long time.
Also, did DaVinci have a big presence in California? Is that why they name high schools after him out there? Or, is this high school named after The Da Vinci Code?
I know I’m the one who is supposed to be a journalist here, but this story is just leaving me with way more questions than I can answer, damn it!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
Check out the SoBros Shop. Subscribe to our Patreon. Give us money for no reason. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork. Listen on SoundCloud. Watch on YouTube.
