It was only a matter of time. As Nashville continues to grow, the greatest brands in all of America will continue to flock to the Music City. Ikea (though they later backed out), Shake Shack, and now the esteemed retail giant, Tanger Outlets. Yes, in a recent Instagram post, The Tennessean dropped a little nugget about the company acquiring 300 acres in Antioch. The first group of stores could be open in late 2019 or early 2020.
Not here for it.
Nope, no way, no how – I am not on board with this.
You might be thinking, “Stoney, this is a weird angle to take – what is wrong with Tanger?” Well, I can tell you, folks – there’s not a DAMN thing wrong with Tanger Outlets. In fact, I think they’re fantastic.
“Well, then – why ya all up in a tizzy?”
Let’s stop fake talking to each other, and I’ll just explain myself, k?
Every time I leave Nashville, one of my favorite things to do is identify all the Tangers we pass along the way. They’re like veritable landmarks. Heading back from Florida? You’re almost to Atlanta once you see the Tanger in Locust Grove! Coming back from a nice weekend in Gatlinburg? A nice stroll the Tangs (that’s what I call them for short) in Sevierville helps prolong that vacation feeling.
When I think about the Tangs, I think about vacation. Pardon my French, but how in the rightful fuuuuck am I supposed to think about vacation when there’s a group of Tangs just down the road from me in Antioch? Spoiler alert: I can’t.
Do the right thing, Tanger. Preserve my fond vacation memories. Don’t come to Nashville.
PS. This is a very serious call-to-action post.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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