Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into my weekly American football column, Tank the 401k. Here, I will divulge all my professional eagle-eyed opinions on the upcoming week. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts!
If it wasn’t for that late Red Raider rally, I nearly nailed the Texas Tech-West Virginia game last week. That was about all I pegged correctly last week. Though the Detroit Lions and LSU Tigers covered, the games didn’t go at all like I thought they would. That makes me a little anxious. I’m flirting with gas as they say. Pretty damn close to a 1-4 weekend, but I managed to stave off defeat and now I have a win-loss of 4-0-1 for it – hope you’ve bet on my picks so far, and are starting to realize there’s nowhere to go but down.
It happens every season – I start strong and then tank. People who have been following me for years probably pulled their money a week ago. Probably saw that Chiefs -5 pick and thought, “whoa, buddy – I’m out.” Anyway, it’s time to get to the picks.
I’m done flirtin’ with gas – let’s light this bitch up and plug her.
BIG NATURAL’S TANK THE 401K PICKS
NCAAF: LSU -2.5 @ Florida – LSU is the Florida of the SEC West, and Florida is the LSU of the SEC East. I mean, these two teams could not be more similar in terms of style of play. The different in this game, for me, is Joe Burrow. Granted, it was against an awful Ole Miss defense last week, but he seemed to find his footing in that Tigers offense. I think the Bayou Bengals travel to Gainesville and come away with a FG win. I’d take 2.5 in a heartbeat.
NCAAF: Missouri @ South Carolina, OVER 64.5 – This game could honestly go either way, and while I think Mizzou gets the win, I’m not willing to put money on it. So, I think the much safer play here is the over on 64.5 points. Will Muschamp has not been able to turn that Gamecocks defense around, and I’m not sure the Tigers have ever had one…the strength of both of these teams is the offense, and they’re both capable of putting up points. Though Jake Bentley and Deebo Samuel haven’t clicked quite like I thought they would, the Mizzou defense could be quite the elixir. Don’t be surprised to see this end 45-42 or something crazy like that.
NFL: Denver +1 @ New York Jets – Why are the Jets favored here? Am I missing something?
NFL: Green Bay -1.5 @ Detroit – We’re starting to see what a long play rebuilding the Lions is for Matt Patricia. They’re scrappy. They’re going to be in games. But, they aren’t ready to really compete yet. You love the vision if you’re a Lions fan, but there’s no way they’re slowing down the Packers on Sunday.
NFL: New Orleans -6.5 vs. Washington – I like the Saints a lot at home against a Redskins that is misleadingly sitting atop the NFC East right now. Drew Brees is only 201 passing yards away from NFL history, and Alvin Kamara is a bona fide MVP candidate. Saints win big at home.
W-L Record: (4-0-1)
Last Week: (3-2)
On the Season: (16-7-1) – 70%
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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