It Is 2018 – Why Have We Not Built a Robot Arm for Marcus Mariota Yet?
Marcus Mariota is still battling a nerve injury in his hand. It’s not that he’s dealing with pain or anything, but he’s struggling with numbness. I’m not sure if you guys are aware of this or not, but if you cannot feel your hand, it makes it hard to throw a football effectively. In other words, your hand is very important for throwing things.
We don’t if he’s going to play, much less start, in Sunday’s showdown with the Jacksonville Jaguars. But, if we learned anything from Mike Vrabel throughout training camp and the preseason, it’s that he ain’t gonna tell us until he absolutely has to. We didn’t know that Blaine Gabbert was going to start for the Tennessee Titans literally until he started the game.
But, the future is now, folks.
It is 2018. There has to be a way to engineer some sort of robot hand for Mariota to use. Don’t get me wrong – I think Vrabel and company put together a hell of a game plan, and Gabbert and company executed that plan pretty damn well. But, advancements in robotics have made it entirely possible to remedy this issue altogether. The Elon Musk-founded OpenAI has made a robotic hand, utilizing AI to perform basic human functions. It can hold stuff, grip shit, and all sorts of things. How hard could it be to just program it to throw a football?!?! The trickiest thing would be getting this robot hand to learn the Titans playbook, but there are so many smart people in the world, that that shouldn’t really be an issue.
The Titans are that close to having their starting quarterback back. I mean, I don’t know if it’s possible, but getting a robot hand for Mariota almost makes too much sense not to actually do it.
And, he’s not doing himself any favors by sitting on the sideline. Mariota is getting into “prove it” territory for a new contract. Do you think anyone’s going to give him big money with a beat up ass human hand? Doubt it…maybe…but doubt it. Now, if he has a cool ass robot hand? Richest quarterback in NFL history.
The playbook isn’t the only thing that the Titans need to bring into 2018.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley