Ryan Fitzpatrick, Dripping With Finesse, Is Pure Sex

 In Humor, NFL

It is 2018, and Ryan Fitzpatrick has taken the NFL by storm. That’s right – Ryan. Fitzpatrick. But, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are now 2-0 with Fitzmagic at the helm, even taking down the defending Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles today, 27-21.

Fitzpatrick went 27/33 for 402 yards and four touchdowns against the Eagles. It was wild, but not as wild as Fitzpatrick showing up to the post game press conference looking like pure sex.

Man, it’s going to be hard to write this article with my boner getting in the way. But, holy shit – the smolder is off the charts in this photo. Maybe if I’m slingin’ the ball the way he is right now, I’m feeling like I’m on top of the world, too. I’m probably feeling like I could get away with anything. Let’s go openly do cocaine in public! Hell, why even put a shirt on? Why not just rock the bare chest? But, this press conference does beg a serious question…

Has Fitzpatrick sold his soul to the devil?

With nine total touchdowns in just two games in his 14th season, it’s worth asking. There seems to be a cycle with him – he gets paid, gets a starting gig somewhere, sucks ass, gets demoted, another team signs him as a backup, their starter gets hurt/suspended, Fitzpatrick comes in and plays well, repeat. We’re at the end of that cycle with the Bucs right now.

But, this one’s different. I don’t recall Fitzpatrick ever coming out looking like Conor McGregor. This is a developing story, and you can bet your ass we will be keeping an eye on it.

We only cover the most important news on this website.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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