WWE’s Hell in a Cell 2018 emanated live from the AT&T Center in San Antonio. Woof – I’m still bitter this pay-per-view was taken from Nashville, but here we are. Let’s talk wrasslin’ on SoBros Network.
Kickoff Show
1. SmackDown Tag Team Championship: – DAMN IT! I keep forgetting that these pre-shows start at 5PM CST now. Nearly missed this one, but just happened to tune in to see Kofi Kingston talking about pumpkin spice season. Love it. Here for it. Pumpkin everything, motherfuckers. LFG. This match was a ton of fun – crowd was super hot. Some miscommunication between Aiden English and Rusev as they continue to tease the split. English hooks The Accolade, which got a nice pop. Ultimately, Kingston hits Trouble In Paradise for the 1-2-3. Rating: 6/10. Fun, but nothing too special. Textbook kickoff match.
Hell in a Cell 2018 Main Card
2. Hell in a Cell Match: Randy Orton def. Jeff Hardy – Still don’t understand why we’re doing this, but here we are. I don’t really like the “watch Jeff Hardy die” hype surrounding this match. So, maybe it’s because I wasn’t really looking forward to it, but this match was a pleasant surprise. Hardy takes a sick suplex onto a ladder propped up between the ring and the cell. Then, Orton proceeds to beat Hardy with a belt. He just keeps beating him and beating him. Finally, Hardy starts to mount a comeback. This was a banger of a demolition derby.
Orton then pulls out a screwdriver, proceeds to put it in Hardy’s ear lobe, and twisted it up. It was one of the more disgusting things I’ve seen in a wresting ring, and had Brandon wondering, “for a company that’s supposed to be family oriented, how did they get away with putting on a match that’s like watching Saw?”
Hardy gets Orton on a table. Then, he climbs a giant ladder, grabs the roof of the cell, starts swinging, and goes for a splash. Orton moves, and Hardy crashes through the table. Orton pins him 1-2-3, and the paramedics come out to check on Hardy. Wild ass finish. Rating: 8/10.
3. SmackDown Women’s Championship: Becky Lynch def. Charlotte Flair – I am HERE. FOR. THIS. BECKY. LYNCH. What an awesome contest – lots of back and forth action. A lot of counters – everything meshed well together as both women sold their history together. Lynch gets the win, deservedly so if I might add, and we have a new SmackDown Women’s Champion. Post-match, Flair extends her hand only for Lynch to raise the belt in her fact instead. Excellent storytelling in this one. Rating: 7/10.
4. Raw Tag Team Championship: Drew McIntyre & Dolph Ziggler def. Dean Ambrose & Seth Rollins – This show is being paced so incredibly well – you had the brutality of the cell, the excellent storytelling of Flair-Lynch, and now some fast-paced frenetic tag team action. I don’t know that anybody does near falls as well as Rollins and Ziggler do. Rollins hits a beautiful frog splash, but McIntyre kicks out, getting in on the near fall action. As the pace quickens, the crowd gets hotter. This is classic tag team wrestling at its purest. Rollins goes for a Falcon Arrow, but McIntyre runs in and hits the Claymore Kick. Ziggler falls on top of Rollins for the pin. Wow. Rating: 8/10.
5. WWE Championship:A.J. Styles def. Samoa Joe – Hey, guys – how much do y’all think it’d cost for Samoa Joe to come read bedtime stories to me every night? He’s so good at it and it’s relaxing.
Regardless, this rivalry has brought us some deeply personal and intense promos. Things are heavy in this one, and that emotion translates perfectly to this match. Just two purebreds that hate each other going at it for the WWE Championship, baby. I could watch Samoa Joe throw his body at things all day, every day. Such a heavy hitter. Styles is such a great striker. This was such a good fight. It felt like it dragged on a bit at times when Joe was in firm control, but it was a nice setup for Styles’ comeback.
Nice counter on the Styles Clash. Joe synches in the Coquina Clutch, but Styles rolls over into a pin attempt. The ref counts to three, but Joe thinks Styles tapped out. Nice finish to a physical contest. Rating: 7.5/10.
6. Mixed Tag Team Match: The Miz & Maryse def. Brie Bella and Daniel Bryan – We need a change of pace after that slobberknocker between Joe and Styles. Again, the pacing of this show has been perfect so far. How many wrestling fans are going to be The Miz and Maryse for Halloween this year? This match was more about the theatrics and characters than actual wrestling. It wasn’t bad, just heavy on the entertainment side. Loved seeing D-Bry and Brie hitting the Yes Kicks in unison. I guess the next chapter in this rivalry is for their babies to fight each other. Bet that happens at TLC. Rating: 6.5/10.
7. Raw Women’s Championship: Ronda Rousey def. Alexa Bliss – Here we go. Rousey’s first title defense! Bliss comes out with Mickie James and Alicia Fox. Rousey comes out with Natalya. It’s pretty evident there’s going to be some sort of shenanigans involved, and let’s face it…that’s the only way they’re going to make Bliss credible against Rousey. Nice exchange where Bliss drops Rousey’s neck across the top rope that allows her to get some offense in. Good job of getting over Bliss’ cunning in this match.
Bliss targets the already damaged ribs of Rousey. When the ref looks away, Fox and James jump in to work the ribs, too. Rousey throws James into the ring post. They’re really ganging up on Rousey, setting up a heroic comeback. Rousey hooks the arm bar, and Bliss taps immediately. Fun match! Rating: 6.5/10.
8. Universal Championship, Hell in a Cell Match: Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman (No Contest) – I called this the greatest rivalry of 2017, so I’m anticipating a good match out of these two. After some of the wars they had last year, it was only fitting to up the stakes into a Hell in a Cell match. It doesn’t take long for the action to get violent as they’re bringing in steel chairs and kendo sticks. Strowman’s dominating, but Reigns sees an opportunity and hits him with the chair before executing a DDT on it. Reigns hits a Superman Punch early on, goes for another, but Strowman catches him and chokeslams him. Strowman believe it should’ve been a three count, and confronts Mick Foley about it, building up some tension there.
Strowman beats the ever-loving shit out of Reigns with steps, hooks a powerslam, and still can’t get the three. Reigns hits a couple more Superman Punches, and spears Strowman through a table, but Strowman kicks out. McIntyre and Ziggler hit the arena, with Ambrose and Rollins following suit. Big brawl between both teams outside.
Ziggler climbs the cell, and Rollins chases after him. McIntyre climbs up and joins Ziggler in beating down Rollins. Ambrose climbs up there with a kendo stick and suddenly, we’ve got all four guys on top of the cell going at it.
Ziggler tries to climb down, but Rollins catches him. Both men fall off the cell through two announce tables.
Brock Lesnar’s music hits and this suddenly feels like watching an episode of Attitude Era Monday Night Raw. Lesnar destroys Reigns and Strowman. Paul Heyman sprays something in Foley’s eyes. What in the rightful fuck is happening here?
They call it a no contest. A no contest in a Hell in a Cell. That was weird. Rating: 6/10.
Overall: 7.5/10. That was a hell of a pay-per-view. I dare say it’s one of the best they’ve run all year. Even if the ending of that main event was lackluster, it was still a pretty damn good show.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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