Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, use #SoBrosMailbag to hit us up on Twitter.
Question, from Matt on Facebook:
Do u have the right to slap a friend if he is wearing nut huggers? Asking for a friend
Answer:
Absolutely not – we, as men, have every right to embrace the nut huggers.
This may surprise some people, but I am completely on the nut huggers bandwagon. I’ve kind of ended up on the nut huggers bandwagon by accident. I have a really strange body – and this is probably too much info for you, Matt, so if you want to tune out at this point, that’s fine. Like, you got your answer – no need to slap anyone – and you’re out.
But, for the rest of you who want to keep hearing about my body, well then read on, fam!
I have a giant ass, but have always had thin, fit legs. It makes buying pants a nightmare. More often than not, if I buy pants big enough to fit comfortably around my giant ass, they look like fucking JNCOs from the knees down. It’s like I’m wearing bell bottoms or something. But, if I buy something that looks like a decent pair of jeans from the knees down, they’re going to come in around my package. It’s only natural.
So, there’s a bit of a trade-off for me, and I tend to take the minor discomfort of having to pull my jeans out of my balls every once in a while over feeling like an early 2000s goth kid. Plus, it’s just not GQ to be stepping on your pants all the time.
But, I’ve found that the nut huggers accentuate my giant ass rather nicely. And, if you sit just right, it makes it look like you’re carrying around a softball in the front of your jeans if you know what I mean.
You know what I mean.
Next question.
Question, from [ANONYMOUS] via e-mail (thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com):
So, roughly 2 months ago, my now 6 month old daughter decided she would start shitting in the bathtub. She doesn’t do it every night, but easily averages 4 nights a week.
My wife was out of town a couple of nights ago which put me on single parent duty. Of course, my little girl decides it’s a great night to take the Browns to the Super Bowl (good luck Baker!!!).
I sat my daughter on the bathroom floor while I disposed of her turd nuggets, and this is where the payback was initiated.
Long story short, I had Taco Bell for lunch that day which allowed me to rip a hot, wet, steamy fart just about face level of a sitting 6 month old. Let’s just say by the look on her face we don’t have to worry about her lacking her sense of smell.
I very kindly let her know, “Payback is a bitch”.
Did I take advantage of a great teaching moment or should I reevaluate my parenting techniques?
Sincerely,
Bathturd Dad
Answer:
First of all, I have no idea why, but I want to put “Bathturd Dad” on a t-shirt. Gotta love the SoBros Mailbag, folks – this is what it’s all about. We’re solving real world problems here.
Rest easy, Bathturd Dad, I think you made the right play here. Just think about the state of the world – what it takes to be successful and what it takes to be a well-adjusted human. You have to be tough. And, you’re teaching your daughter that already. There’s no age too early to learn about the consequences of your actions. So, this doesn’t sound like a “great teaching moment” to me. It sounds like “THE preeminent teaching moment.”
I’m sure your daughter understood exactly what was happening in that moment. Let’s just hope she takes it to heart.
Now, just as a disclaimer here, if your daughter gets pink eye, then you might want to tone back this parenting strategy.
Question, from Brian on Instagram:
How do magnets work?
Answer:
Well, Brian, it all started when Thomas Edison and Nikola Tesla venture to opposite ends of the Earth. Tesla to the North Pole, Edison to the South Pole. They each brought back a chunk of rock that they chiseled out of the Earth with their bare hands.
When they were comparing the size of the rocks to see who had the bigger rock, they were immediately drawn into each other to form one large rock. This is why they say “opposites attract.” Many people think this relates to the electromagnetic properties of the magnet – but it’s actually a reference to the original magnets, discovered by Edison and Tesla, coming from opposite ends of the Earth.
Question:
Based on the consistent line of questioning I’m getting at the state fair: if SoBros 6:15 were a bible verse, what would it say? Did someone already ask this? pic.twitter.com/8O0Zwihvc6
— The Ultimate Worrier (@WorrierMN) August 31, 2018
Answer:
First of all that is an EXCELLENT shirt, Worrier, and from the entire SoBros team, thank you for your continued support of what we do here.
If SoBros 6:15 were a bible verse, it would probably be something along the lines of, “Lest they bosom grow weary, always light the way.”
Alternatively, for those who don’t follow us all on Twitter, I love Poppa Bear’s answer to this:
SoBros 6:15 states “And on the 7th day, He blessed the rains down in Africa.”
— Poppa Bear (@SoBroPoppaBear) August 31, 2018
Keep the questions coming using #SoBrosMailbag – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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