There’s nothing Jason Statham can’t do when he puts his mind to it. Throughout the imperishable action star’s career, from The Transporter series to the two Crank sequels, he’s been doing the physically impossible. Yet, he’s never gone to battle with a prehistoric predator of the deep blue sea…until now. The Meg is a bonkers summer blockbuster, but don’t let its size fool you—its bite isn’t as big as you might think. That’s not to say there isn’t some fun to be had because there is, but only as much as a PG-13 rating will allow. And for a super-sized shark movie, that ain’t a whole lot.
Jonas Taylor (Statham) is a disgraced diver after years earlier having to leave two teammates to go down with a nuclear submarine that was being crushed by something gigantic with razor sharp teeth. These days, he’s drinking his life away in Thailand, but he’s called back in to action when finds out his ex-wife (Jessica McNamee) and her crew are trapped on a deep, undiscovered ocean floor. This expedition turned rescue mission is launched from a fancy underwater research lab funded by a billionaire prick (Rainn Wilson), but it’s Taylor’s old pal Mac (Cliff Curtis) who convinces him to get back in the water. Mac runs the base team that consists of a hacker named Jaxx (Ruby Rose), Dr. Minway Zhang (Winston Chao) and his daughter Suyin (Bingbing Li), a fellow scientist with an adorable daughter, and DJ (Page Kennedy) who can’t swim and stays scared.
While most of the shipwrecked crew is brought to safety, it’s a déjà vu situation for Taylor. Except this time whatever oceanic monstrosity was wreaking havoc before returns for more and it’s going down on the human’s home turf. What ensues is B-movie lunacy, eye-rolling, dumb deaths, followed by little disappointment. The ocean is a terrifying place already, but there’s some obscene pleasure in watching a saltwater killer you hope to never see in person annihilate everything and everyone in its path.
The most surprising thing is how director Jon Turteltaub (National Treasure movies) takes this story more seriously than anyone would have guessed. The same can’t be said for the audience. There’s no convincing us that this massive movie should not be up to its neck in nuttiness. Also, there’s no denying the star of The Meg is the Megalodon herself, but Turteltaub doesn’t rush to show her off. I’m sure he took note of what Steven Spielberg did in Jaws and craft a slow build up of suspense; but this is no Jaws, so let the bulky beast come right on up and open wide from the get go.
Speaking of waiting, once the Statham vs. Shark showdown finally happens, the splash it makes ain’t shit. Word is there’s a rated R version of The Meg that is supposedly bolder and a lot bloodier than the version we get to see in theaters. Instead of cleaning his creature feature up, Turteltaub should have had the balls to go with the one that is meant for this shark of epic proportion.
Check out the latest episode of The Vick’s Flicks Podcast, on which we chat about some of the notable shark movies from our lifetimes:
Listen to “Ep. 56: Shark Movies” on Spreaker.Brandon Vick is a member of The Music City Film Critics’ Association, the resident film critic of the SoBros Network, and the star of The Vick’s Flicks Podcast. Follow him on Twitter @SirBrandonV and be sure to search #VicksFlicks for all of his latest movie reviews.
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