After a brief hiatus, I’m back at it. So, forgive me if you’ve already read about this story. But, it’s just too good a tale to pass up. Plus, you can’t tell me this thing isn’t as on-brand as anything we’ve ever written here. It’s damn naked jumping jacks in a McDonald’s restroom.
A man suspected of huffing and doing naked jumping jacks in the women’s restroom of a South Nashville fast food restaurant has been charged.
Brody Young, 25, was taken into custody Monday on charges of criminal trespassing, public intoxication and public indecency.
Metro police were called earlier in the day to the McDonalds on Nolensville Pike near Harding Place where a man wearing no clothing was locked in the women’s restroom and refused to leave, despite numerous attempts by management.
According to an arrest affidavit, officers responded to find Young naked and locked in a stall where management said he had been “all day.”
Police reported Young “was erratic,” “doing jumping jacks and hitting the wall” and “smelled strongly of chemical fumes as if he had been huffing.”
And, here I was thinking Nashville was supposed to be the fun city. Everyone comes here for the bright lights of Broadway, but apparently, there’s a line you can’t cross. We want you to go get messed up, but don’t go getting too crazy now.
I say if you want to be known as a party town, you just open the fucking flood gates. Let’s be the American Bangkok, where you’re not sure if you’re taking a man or woman to bed. Where you could get kidnapped and murdered just as easily as you could get drunk. You want a real wild environment? Let’s let that happen. When I run for Mayor, that’s going to be my platform – “A vote for Stoney is a vote to make Nashville the American Bangkok.”
That’s what freedom is all about and, last I checked, Nashville was still America.
Let the people do their naked jumping jacks in McDonald’s bathroom.
Sidenote: when I first read the headline, I thought for sure it was the McDonald’s down on Broadway. Have y’all ever been in that one? I used to go in there every day after work, waiting for the girlfriend to come pick me up after she was off the clock. One time, I legitimately thought I was going to have to fight a homeless man who was trying to get into the kitchen. People used to literally come up to me and ask me for the food I was eating. It’s a bona fide madhouse.
Actually, you know what – forget Bangkok. Let’s make Nashville like the Broadway McDonald’s all over town.
Now, that is a real party.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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