Meatballs have to be one of the most underrated foods out there. Am I right or am I right? I mean, you can toss a handful of those bad boys on spaghetti and make a damn good meal. But, they’re also tremendous appetizers. Also, in my opinion, meatballs are among the best football foods you can eat during football season. Fire up the crock pot, toss in some meatballs and smother ’em in grape jelly and barbecue sauce. Or, cook ’em up in some teriyaki sauce. You really can’t go wrong with a big hunk of meat.
Well, folks – around here, I don’t think people take meatballs seriously enough. I will say that much. Do I think Nashvillians need to start going around smacking people who steal their food? No, probably not. But, you might could convince me otherwise. In Youngstown, Ohio, on the other hand, people go hard if you steal their meatballs. Just finding that one out today.
Youngstown Police are investigating after a woman told them she was attacked by someone she accused of stealing her meatballs.
The victim told police she was assaulted on Tuesday by a woman who lives in the same house on Indiana Avenue.
The woman said she came home and found the other woman in the kitchen cooking meatballs.
According to the report, the woman “became extremely upset because she knows she is the only one in the house that had meatballs in the refrigerator”.
Police say the alleged owner of the meatballs confronted the other woman about “alleged meat thievery, insisting that they must be her meatballs”.
That’s when the victim says the other woman charged her, striking her in the face and pulling her hair.
Police say they didn’t see any visible injuries on the victim.
The suspect was gone by the time officers arrived.
The victim said she doesn’t know the other woman’s last name, but suggested to police that it might be “b*tch”.
Okay, that’s a lot to take in.
I’m just amazed by the lack of information this lady has about someone that lives with her. This sounds like some weird episode of The Leftovers or something. You just come home one day and some lady has stolen and is cooking your meatballs, and you know that you know her, but you just can’t place her.
But, I mean – if you know, you just know. You know that you’re the ONLY person in that house that could POSSIBLY have meatballs, you just have no choice. You have to go off and strike a bitch for that meat thievery.
By the way, ‘meat thievery’ may be my favorite thing about this story, and I’m currently contemplating ways I can bring that into my everyday lexicon.
The lesson here? You might be able to steal a Nashvillian’s meatballs, but don’t you dare try to pull that shit with someone from Youngstown. They will smack you and pull your hair.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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