Bully Raccoons Force West Tennessee Wal-Mart to Close

 In Humor

For the most part, I’ve been a fan of raccoons all my life. I know they can be savage little pests, but they’ve always been respectful towards me. I see a raccoon. A raccoon sees me. We go our separate ways. That simple. But, a story surfaced yesterday that has me questioning whether or not I should pick a side between humans and raccoons once and for all.

Courtesy of WKRN:

A Walmart was forced to close in West Tennessee after a trio of raccoons got inside the store.

The store was closed around 8:30 a.m. Monday after the critter was found inside the store.

The city’s mayor, Justin Hanson, says crews were quickly called to the scene to try to track down the animal.

Just an egregious violation of the unwritten rule that animals stay out of human spaces. To me, this is the equivalent of raccoons drawing a line in the sand. They can get in my trash all they want – there’s a reason trash is trash…literally because I don’t want it or have no use for it.
But, if you go into my Wal-Mart and start raising hell, that’s where I draw the line. I don’t necessarily like it…but I feel forced to announce that I’m #TeamHumans on this one.
Also, does the mayor not have anything better to do than provide us updates on the three raccoons loose at the Wal-Mart?

The Covington Leader learned from a source close to the situation that there were initially three raccoons in the store.

Two raccoons were forced out of the store through the loading dock area and a third as still in the store as of 11:15 a.m.

WKRN’s sister station WATN-TV said the store reopened several hours later. The station reports Alpha Wildlife is on scene working to remove the third critter.

Walmart reportedly said the closure was a due to a customer liability issue.

Obviously the first two were just a distraction so that the third one could sneak off and accomplish their real mission…whatever it may be. I’d say this is a robbery if I had to guess. If you’re going to overthrow an entire civilization, you obviously start by cutting it off from its resources. If people can’t get to their area Wal-Mart, how else could they acquire resources?

This could be the first of many stories to come. We have been saying for years now that the animal kingdom is slowly putting events into motion that would lead to their reclaiming of the Earth.

And, yeah – of course three wild animals on the loose in your store is a customer liability. Could you imagine how this story would end if Wal-Mart didn’t close down for a few hours?!?! It would end in death and violence….we just don’t know who would be on the receiving end of it.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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