Big news out of the pirate treasure world today. Apparently, one of our fellow lost-gold-searching brethren has been apprehended for conduct unbecoming of an ordinary citizen. I know this happens to a lot to people who claim to go around searching for buried treasure. I guess there’s some sort of stigma for that, or people think you’re crazy. But, it makes my heart hurt for people who are just trying to live out their dreams of finding a box full of doubloons and retiring to the golden coasts of Peru.
A Floyd County man looking for gold found himself behind bars instead Thursday.
The Floyd County Sheriff’s Office responded to a call of a man walking around a neighborhood in David trying to find hidden treasure and gold.
When deputies arrived, they found Dustin Allan Robinson in a driveway off Route 850.
Robinson told the deputies he was reading a pirate book. Officials also say he told them he had to search for gold in the creek because he was wearing red.
Robinson said the riddles in his pirate book told him to tear down a wall in the house to find a secret room.
It may sound crazy, but Robinson is one of the lucky ones to actually find the fabled “pirate book.” So, I know it may seem weird and all, but he really didn’t have any choice. Most treasures come with a map and you just gotta hope that X marks the spot, and that you’re actually in the right place.
It’s very rare that you get a whole book full of pirate secrets. There must be some powerful magic protecting the treasure if you have to be wearing red in order to even receive the messages. And, that must be a really old house for it to have been around for pirates to bury treasure in it centuries ago.
Just goes to show you how sometimes, treasure can be hiding right in front of you.
Personally, I think there’s some sort of conspiracy at play here. These police officers heard about the treasure, maybe they had been searching for it for years, too? But, since police uniforms are never red, they never received the message. They arrested the guy hoping to probe him for his secrets.
That’s entirely plausible.
Officials say Robinson admitted he “had done some dope” earlier, but he could not tell what it was.
Robinson was taken to the Floyd County Jail and charged with public intoxication.
Wait – the motherfucker was on dope? Damn it. Disregard this entire story. Turns out, the guy’s not a real pirate or pirate treasure hunter.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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