I just want to start this article by saying that I love Marcus Mariota. He is the unquestioned savior of the Tennessee Titans from the treachery of Ken Whisenhunt. Well, he and Jon Robinson, the architect. There’s no young quarterback in the league I would take over Ocho right now, and that’s that. I don’t know how to paint it any clearer: I’m a Mariota believer. That said, I think it’s fair to criticize his fashion sense, which brings us together here today.
On the last day of minicamp, last Thursday, the Titans spent the day at the Metro Nashville Police Training Academy, meeting with the boys in blue and getting a lesson or two in firearm safety. Great idea – loved it. But, that’s when this photo was snapped:
Nice forearm action there. He should definitely be proud of that. But, otherwise – this is just a sloppy look. I mean…that hat…..that hat….this isn’t just a flat bill. This thing is TURNED. UP. Period and period. Does Mariota know that the hat loses all functionality like that? How much sun is that thing blocking sitting on his head like that?
Then, there’s the hoodie. This is straight out of the Bill Belichick school of fashion, and breaking news – Belichick isn’t exactly known for being fashionable. First of all, it is June. It is hot as hell outside. I know the sleeves are cut off, but that just has to still be hot. Then, oh yeah – THE SLEEVES ARE CUT OFF! What an egregious fashion faux pas. Gorgeous Boyd would be embarrassed.
Finally, the shorts are simply the icing on the cake. Way too short. But, the shortness is magnified by the sleeveless hoodie. It’s just a complete clash of fashion ideals here. And, the hat looks like something one of the Muppet Babies would wear.
We need to get a fashion coach in house stat to teach Mariota how to dress in the Summer months….for reasons of practicality and aesthetics alike. No offense.
Is anyone actually more terrified at the thought of Mariota shooting a gun than any other Titan? Like, what heinous act could someone commit that would pull such a polite, nice, well-mannered young man to desperation?
This is like Ron Burgundy devolving in Anchorman.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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