Movie Review Rewind: Delivery Man (2013)
Delivery Man is not the Vince Vaughn comedy you think it is. First of all, I am not sure if you can even call it a comedy. It tries to be dramatic and sincere, which is respectable if it’s done right. Unfortunately, that is not the case with this movie. Based on the French-language film titled Starbuck (the alias the character used when he visited the fertility clinic), this American version is sloppy and unnecessary. Considering all of the holes in the story, it makes it worse once you find out the director of the original, Ken Scott, also did this one. I suppose he thought his first time around was so perfect that he did not need to change one thing. Personally, one version of this story is enough.
Vaughn plays David Wozniak, an irresponsible, unreliable meat delivery guy who works for his father and still manages to get fired daily. His simple, terrestrial life slowly begins to crumble when he gets rejected by his pregnant girlfriend (Cobie Smulders) and is $80,000 in debt to the mob. Believe it or not, those are the least of his troubles. Twenty years ago, David would visit the fertility clinic a lot. I mean almost 700 times. Due to one hell of a mess up, he is now the father of 533 children.
Of those kids, 142 of them file a lawsuit against him wanting to know who their donor is and what he looks like. Obviously, while David tries to decide if he should come forth and reveal himself and against his buddy/lawyer’s (Chris Pratt) advice, he goes on a search for the children he never knew while giving them the chance to meet the father they never had.
Scott cannot find a balance between the jokes and the tears which leads to both falling flat on their face. Pratt’s character is the only individual in Delivery Man who provides some sort of comic relief. Vaughn plays a man-child as usual. But, in the blink of an eye, his character tries to be the sensitive father who wants to save the day. I am not saying Vaughn is not capable of playing the hero, but not in this.
The movie feels lost while being very predictable. It’s easy to tell the tone and transformation of the material is all wrong. If only the filmmaker and Vaughn could have seen it. Speaking of all wrong, the same can be said about the romance between Vaughn and Smulders. Their chemistry does not have a chance when she is barely in the picture to begin with.
However, I would be lying if I told you there aren’t some heartfelt moments that will actually make a connection with you. But not for a second does it give the rest of the movie permission to lose its focus, and gloss over serious issues like they are easy to cure and no big deal. If the director is not willing to tackle the problems head-on then I suggest take a different path and stop half-assing it. Eventually, it just comes across as laziness.
The only intelligent part of Delivery Man is its release date. What an easy sell for the Thanksgiving holiday where folks are willing to go see something so shallow and cheap. And I say cheap in the sense of the movie not the price of the ticket. That will most certainly cost you and will be a complete waste. I sure hope you aren’t taking your 533 children.
“Nature Boy” Brandon Vick is the resident film critic of the SoBros Network, and star of Brandon’s Box Office In Your Mouth. Follow him on Twitter@SirBrandonV and be sure to search #VicksFlicks for all of his latest movie reviews.
Check out the SoBros Shop. Subscribe to our Patreon. Give us money for no reason. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork. Listen on SoundCloud. Watch on YouTube. Shop our store on Redbubble.