Death is a weird thing, man. We have all these odd customs – things that really don’t make sense to me, but if you ignore them, then you’re suddenly a terrible blasphemous person. I’m the type of guy who tends to rebel against social norms anyway, so when I read something about a BMW burial, you know I’m all in. That’s the case with this Nigerian man I’m writing about today.
Courtesy of the Nigerian Watch:
Nigerian man identified only as Azubuike has buried his father in a brand new BMW instead of a coffin.
According to local reports, the wealthy son had always promised him one day he would have a flash car. So after he passed away in the remote village of Ihiala, Nigeria, Azubuike is reported to have splashed out £66,000 cash on a car from the showroom to bury his father in.
According to NAIJ.com the son lost his father recently and decided to honour his father by buying him a luxurious car for his final journey and placed him inside.
Locals quipped that the BMW is equipped with Sat Nav to help him find his way to the pearly gates.
One name, one grind, and one respect, baby.
I mean, yeah – don’t get me wrong. I hope they at least had a conversation about this. Pretty not cool if he just up and did this all without the man knowing it was going to happen after he died. Not sure if you guys realize this, but you don’t get a say in things once you’re dead.
But, it sounds like this was a promise made a while ago, and as long as that’s the case, then I say, “fly, my man, fly.”
I always thought maybe I’d be cremated, and have my ashes spread all over the floor at the Hobby Lobby since that’s my favorite place on Earth. It sounds incredibly romantic, I know. But, now I’m rethinking it. I’d like to see some more research on this practice, though.
Like, how does the car respond to being underground? If the dirt just caves in all the windows, then that sounds potentially disastrous. Then, you might as well just throw my corpse in a JoAnn fabrics store. Seriously. Have you ever been in JoAnn? The prices are outrageous. It really is only a minor step up from an open hole in the ground.
Anyway, but if the windows won’t collapse then sure. Let’s do it. If you can find a 1982 Ford Bronco, put me in it and let me rest for eternity. Maybe even set me up so I’m doing some sort of zany pose. The ol’ fingers on each side of the mouth with my tongue sticking out. You know.
Fuck – this has gotten really morbid and I’ve really strayed from my point.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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