Hip New Road Rage Move: Poop on Your Opponent

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Road rage is a hell of a drug. Thankfully, I’m an incredibly patient person. A slow drive home weaving about the assholes doesn’t typically bother me. At the very least, it takes a whole hell of a lot to really irritate me. But, with that said, I love a good road rage story.

In fact, you can bet your ass that if I come across a solid road rage story, it will pop up on a SoBros Network post sooner or later.

Today, we have such a story. It’s incredible, really. Unlike any other road rage story I’ve read because it’s changing the game. How we road rage now on could be defined by this one simple, innovative maneuver.

Courtesy of Lehigh Valley Live:

Two drivers got into an argument. Then things got messy.

Henry George Weaver, of New Tripoli, faces a harassment charge after he allegedly, well …

“The accused and the victim got into a road rage argument, leading the accused to defecate on the victim,” Pennsylvania State Police said in a succinct news release.

The argument happened about 8:45 p.m. Friday at the intersection of routes 309 and 100 in Heidelberg Township, the police report said. It did not say what preceded the altercation, the identity of the other driver or list Weaver’s age.

The harassment charge is pending in district court.

Alpha moves only, folks. And, Henry George Weaver is a damn alpha. He won’t just harass you – no, that’s too simple. He has to dominate you and make it very clear that you are his property as well.

I can’t imagine anything more disgusting and humiliating. This is like some Game of Thrones shit. Ramsay Bolton would be proud.

How do you execute this, though? I mean, I would think it would incredibly hard to shit on someone if they weren’t incapacitated in some regard. Was this person incapacitated? It doesn’t sound like there was really a fight here. So, that’s impressive.

You just pull your butthole and shit quick enough for anyone to realize it’s going on and maybe you can hit ’em with a turd or two. Otherwise, I would think they’d be able to block it or dodge it. It’s just insane.

I’m just eager to see how this changes the road rage game, because I think it definitely does. How do you up the ante here short of cannibalism? Which I definitely don’t want to encourage. I’m just saying. Once you’ve shit on someone, there’s nothing more humiliating left to do besides literally consuming them.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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