Some would say that the Hawaiian shirt never went away to begin with. But, for far too long, it’s been pegged as the laughingstock of the fashion world. “Dad wear,” if you will. Well, it’s time we had a discussion, folks. At least those of you who aren’t hip to the true beauty of Hawaiian shirts. It is iconic fashion with useful functionality, and it’s time we fucking bring. it. back.
Why? I’ll let Elvis Presley show you why:
Is it even remotely possible to display a stronger Summer vibe than Elvis? No. Impossible. Look how cool Elvis is. Why would you try any other look in the Summer time?
Look, I’ll admit. For the better part of my teenage years and 20s, I was like many of you who thought Hawaiian shirts were tacky and hokey. They were only reserved for middle aged men vacationing on the beach.
But, there’s something to be said for creative expression and the individuality that a Hawaiian shirt can bring out in you. When you see someone in a Hawaiian shirt, you immediately think they are fun. It’s just a no-brainer.
Plus, Hawaiian shirts act as a sort of aphrodisiac. I mean, with the right combination, you’re transformed into pure sex when wearing a Hawaiian shirt. You’re irresistible.
In a way, I don’t think it’s a reach at all to say that if you wear Hawaiian shirts, you will actually become Elvis.
In fact, I’m so committed to the idea of bringing Hawaiian shirts back, that I’m making them mandatory for my birthday party coming up on June 23rd. If you don’t have one, you’re out. I’m currently in the process of finding an enforcer who can physically throw people out should they choose not to comply.
So, let’s make this a movement, people. Let’s end the negative stigma of Hawaiian shirts in the Summer time.I encourage everyone to hit up their local thrift store and stock up for the Summer. To quote Rob Thomas, “man, it’s a hot one.”
You’re going to need those Hawaiian shirts.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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