The SoBros Mailbag: 12th Edition – Who Wins a SoBros Jousting Tournament?

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Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, use #SoBrosMailbag to hit us up on Twitter.

Question:

Answer:

I tweeted this out yesterday, and I think it still rings true. This is the best mailbag question we’ve received yet. I am completely stumped on how to answer this. Like, I know who among us is a pretty good athlete, but I don’t know anyone on the team

So, what does it take to win a joust? I have no real idea, but I’ll venture a guess – you have to have tremendous balance to ride the horse, you have to have decent strength to hold that big pole (there’s a dick joke in there somewhere), and you have to have good hand-eye coordination to put the tip of your pole into your opponent’s chest. Also, who has the least amount of damage done to their body? Who is in the best conditioning?

Who fits this criteria?

This may shock you, but I’m going with “Nature Boy” Brandon Vick. He might not be the fastest or most athletic, but this isn’t the football field, folks. The horse is there to handle all of that. People laugh at Brandon’s non-sense, but the dude is a lot stronger than he looks, and he’s always been a deceptively good athlete with above average hand-eye. I’m looking at this tournament and thinking about how bad riding a horse repeatedly would hurt mine and Cadbury’s backs, Poppa Bear’s foot, and Herbie’s knees…no way any of us keep it together for an entire tournament and Brandon capitalizes.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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