Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, use #SoBrosMailbag to hit us up on Twitter.
Question:
Answer:
Here’s a link to the story in case you guys want to catch up.
Yikes. You know – I have to say…I’m usually a pretty opened minded guy, but I can’t get on board with referring to yourself as “the horse.” I think that’s going to turn a lot of people off right away, but especially the inmates who you’re forcing into touching your hog. Still, it’s a cocky move to begin with, and people don’t typically respond well to cocky moves. So, no – I don’t think it’s good for the brand at all.
But, all that said, to this guy’s credit, I would much rather brand myself as “the horse” and come across as a douchebag than refer to myself as “huge, stinky, hooked penis.” So, at least there’s that.
Question:
What does horchata taste like to you?
— Titans of the Southwest (@TitansSouthwest) May 10, 2018
Answer:
I have only had horchata once, and it wasn’t a pleasant experience. So, I’d like to give it another shot. I hear it’s an acquired taste. But, the only way I can describe it is sweaty wood. It tasted like the 2×4 that Hacksaw Jim Duggan used to carry to the ring under his sweaty armpit.
Question:
Sometimes people tell me they get lost in my beautiful blue eyes, and like, thanks, but also if they wander the wrong way and find their way out of my eyes, it seems like they might step on my brain. Is this something I should be worried about?
— The Ultimate Worrier (@WorrierMN) May 10, 2018
Answer:
I tell people this ALL THE TIME, Worrier, but it’s a blessing and a curse for those of us with beautiful blue eyes. I absolutely think you have valid reasons for concern. This is something I struggle with as well.
But, there is a cure for such anxiety.
Surely, as this is a frequent occurrence, you’ve developed a good sense of when it’s going to happen. People will often give you “the look” when they’re about to get lost in your eyes.
I have found that identifying this look right away and hissing at the person like a cat works wonders in keeping them from getting lost in your eyes. Try it next time you run into this problem and let me know how it works for you!
Question:
Better choke slam Giant González or @SirBrandonV?
— SoBroMose (@CoupleOfJobbers) May 11, 2018
Answer:
If you’ve never seen a Vader Vick, chokeslam, then you are truly missing out. I don’t think there was ever a more devastating move than Vick’s chokeslam….what a sight to behold. But, he can also sell a chokeslam well…just ask him:
I get really high in the air and kick my feet. Did I win your vote?
— Brandon Vick (@SirBrandonV) May 11, 2018
Question:
How long is an acceptable time to cry after last night?
— Herbie Brooks (@SoBroHerbie_B) May 11, 2018
Answer:
Cry all you want, Herbie. This fucking sucks.
Keep the questions coming using #SoBrosMailbag – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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