ESPN Get Up! Isn’t THAT Bad; It’s Just…Meh, Yes It Is

…So I promised Editor Big Natural that I’d watch this ESPN Get Up! show this week. I figured I’d get it out of the way sooner than later. My intentions were to watch a few episodes before offering a viewpoint that was contrary to the mass crucifixion that Get Up! has endured since before its April 2 debut. Spoiler alert: I made it through one.

I rarely watch television unless it’s a major sports broadcast, however, I did catch an April 6 episode that featured a quality interview with Dana White. The rest of the episode was forgettable (I literally remember nothing about it). I figured it was the first week though. Clay Travis’s ramblings about its early failure made me curious. Is the show that bad? Or is it a recipient of negative publicity and people just refusing to give it a chance?

The premise of Get Up was to give ESPN an offering similar to The Today Show or Good Morning America. People haven’t bought into the hype. Only 27 percent of Google Users approve the show. Compare that to 84 percent approval for one of its primary time-slot rivals, the NFL Network’s Good Morning Football.

Twenty-Seven percent???! That’s eye-opening. What about some other shows…

Impact!: 81 Percent
The Jim Baaker Show: 81 Percent
Dads: 73 Percent
Teen Titans GO!: 68 Percent
Boohbah: 60 Percent
SC6: 26 Percent

Damn. ESPN found a way to create two shows that nearly had lower approval ratings than Donald Trump and Barack Obama combined. John Skipper was a true case study for why crack is whack.

The show got off to a rotten start even before its initial air date. Earliest previews indicated that the three hosts combined to make $14.5 million in salary. The Mike & Mike Show fans were disgruntled with Greenberg’s departure. Critics prematurely referred to the show as “WokeCenter” as they anticipated discussions centered around politics. Travis mocked ESPN with the following tweet:

How bad was it for @espn? Peppa the Pig on Nickelodeon did triple the viewership of WokeCenter AM. Hope she’s making $45 million a year. This is yet another disaster for ESPN, which fired hundreds of people to spend hundreds of millions on this show: https://t.co/5bElepsvBR

— Clay Travis (@ClayTravis) April 3, 2018

Two unrelated target audiences. But those ratings do make me wonder. I’m a part-time order picker at Amazon. I rarely pick anything Peppa Pig related. Now PAW Patrol? I pick more of that shit on any given day than Mickey Mouse, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Sesame Street, Spongebob Squarepants, and probably the next five cartoon series you can name off the top of your head…combined…over the course of a month. Not an over-exaggeration.

Some parents probably have to get second and third jobs to satisfy their children’s fetish for what’s basically a Nick Jr. version of Rescue Heroes. Then you wonder how a 10-year-old gets all that money to build them fancy contraptions and have a Freakazoid hairdo. Ryder, WWE Tag Team Champion Nicholas…maybe 10-year-olds are the solution to all of life’s problems, ESPN’s included? At least you wouldn’t have to worry about crack with them. They’re too young and innocent to think of “crack” as anything but the sidewalk.

Here’s the plan: ESPN has had four weeks to get their hosts and entire production team acclimated with the surroundings. I watched the April 30 episode. Below is a quick rundown of the events during that three-hour telecast.

Get Up! April 30

• Hour 1: The episode begins with highlights from the Indiana Pacers vs Cleveland Cavaliers Game 7 contest. The panel follows up with discussion on whether James can continue carrying the team on his back.
• A “Get Up and Go!” segment showing James passing Scottie Pippen for most steals in NBA playoff history, a fan getting left to dry on a high-five offering to James, James Harden’s Game 1 performance against the Utah Jazz, Jaylon Brown doubtful for Game 1, drunken Taylor Lewan drinking beer off a fish, Nashville Predators tying playoff series with Winnipeg Jets, New York Yankees winning ninth straight game, Cody Bellinger benched for lack of hustle, and Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher Nick Kingham pitching a perfect game deep into his MLB debut.
• A “My Favorite Athlete” segment featuring Shaquem Griffin’s reaction when drafted No. 141 overall. This was followed with a 12-year-old who had a similar condition that congratulated him via video.
• Get Up! Trivia before a commercial break. The answer was given afterwards.
• Panel debates on whether Tristan Thompson should’ve played more before Game 7, should George Hill take over point guard responsibilities, criticize Nate McMillan on resting Victor Oladipo when James was out at end of Quarter No. 3, and celebrating James’ accomplishments.
• Former defensive back Ryan Clark joins Mike Greenberg to have a discussion about the 2018 NFL Draft. They talk about the quarterbacks, Green Bay Packers’ defensive backfield selections, Bradley Chubb, Kyle Lauletta, and Mr. Irrelevant wide receiver Trey Quinn. Clark congratulates Todd McShay for comparing Mr. Irrelevant to Golden Tate, not Wes Welker.
• A “Meanwhile on Planet Earth” segment showing a bunch of mascots at a baseball game attacking one another.
• A “Cure for the Mondays” segment showing Yoenis Cespedes hitting a home run into a garbage can, Fedor Emelianenko knocking out Frank Mir in 48 seconds, a softball player juking around a catcher to score a run, Jordan Mailata, and David Akers trolling Dallas Cowboys fans. The panel took offense to Akers making the moment more about himself instead of the draftee.
• The panel reassembles (and Clarks remains). Then they continue with a discussion about NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and whether he should announce draft picks. Clark is included in this segment.
• A “Jalen’s Reality Checks” segment featuring speculation on Paul George, Carmelo Anthony, Milwaukee Bucks, Draymond Green, and, of course, LeBron.
• Hour 2: A “Meanwhile on Planet Earth” segment about Oladipo covering a point spread on a meaningless three at the end of Game 7.
• A “Top Story” segment. That means 10 more minutes about Lebron. The former NFL defensive back (Ryan Clark) remains on set and gives his take on LeBron.
• A replay of the “Get Up and Go!” segment from the previous hour. Jalen Rose calls Taylor Lewan and his offensive linemen teammates, “cultural.”
• A “Meanwhile on Planet Earth” segment showing Rodrigo Koxa surfing a world record 80-foot wave.
• More trivia that was answered after the commercial break.
• Greenberg interviews Mel Kiper and Todd McShay as they give their draft grades and evaluations.
• More LeBron…
• Some discussion about the Rockets vs Jazz Game 1 playoff matchup. Jokes are made about James Harden’s fashion choices.
• Preview of the Golden State Warriors vs New Orleans Pelicans Game 2 matchup.
• Debate on lack of assertiveness from Giannis Antetokounmpo.
• A tidbit about 88 percent of 2018 draftees having been multi-sport athletes in high school.
• Clark has remained on this panel for the whole time. Kind of awkward to see him talking about basketball but he has done a solid job. Good speaker. If you had never watched Get Up!, you’d think Clark was a regular panelist, not Beadle.
• SportsCenter Top 10 plays.
• A “Meanwhile on Planet Earth” segment showing Baker Mayfield tossing out the first pitch at a Cleveland Indians game. Greenberg doesn’t understand why Mayfield made such a bad throw when he’s a quarterback.
• Hour 3: LeBron………………………………………….
• A replay of the “Get Up and Go!” segments from the previous hours.
• Beadle interviews ESPN journalist Marty Smith as he’s with Michigan’s football team during their spring trip to Paris. Beadle gets upset with Rose and Clark because they admit they would’ve been ungrateful for such an experience at that age.
• A “Who Won the Internet” segment that features a gender revealing, dolphin attacking a paddleboarder, and Tiffany Haddish.
• A “Hot Take Factory” revolving around…LEBRON AGAIN…Carmelo Anthony never starting again for a playoff team, and whether the New York Jets have turned around their misfortunes after drafting Sam Darnold.
• Nick Mangold joins the panel. Beadle and Rose have been removed. Clark remains. Mangold talks about 13 quarterbacks that he snapped to during his 2006-16 Jets career. They talk about what it’s like playing in New York and whether Mangold would drink beer off a fish (he said yes).
• First Take preview. They talk about…some dude on the Cavaliers.
• Episode closure. A preview for the May 1 episode. An advertisement for Colorado Rockies at Chicago Cubs.
• Jesus Christ comes down from the Heavens. He anoints LeBron James as King of the World and the greatest player in NBA history. Okay, that didn’t happen. I figured there wasn’t enough talk about LeBron.

It’s over. I don’t recall any mention of politics. WokeCenter doesn’t seem like the appropriate moniker. Maybe BrokeCenter? I feel as though Matt Hardy just threw me into the Lake of Reincarnation. Three hours of that made me feel a tad broken. Or how about SleepCenter? All I know is that I’m not feeling awake. The first thing I did when this show ended was jump into bed and lay down for five minutes. About an hour later, I took an hour nap. Then I finally felt awake.

Honestly. I tried to remain open-minded about Get Up!. If anything, I came in here determined to write something positive about it. I don’t hate on things to appear cool. There are many people who just want to see it fail. It doesn’t seem bad when I read the above transcript.

But I can’t sugar-coat how I felt while watching it: it was shit. pure shit. I was watching the clock early in the second hour.

My first problem with Get Up! was evident within the first 15 minutes. It’s one you’ve heard before: chemistry. Greenberg, Beadle and Rose have their specific skill-sets. They’re good at what they do. What they’re good at isn’t emphasized here. They meshed poorly, especially in the current format.

Let me use the Nashville sports talk radio scene as an example for my preference. I prefer a setup similar to what the Three Hour Lunch (3HL) had when its panel consisted of Brent Dougherty, Blaine Bishop and Clay Travis. This panel featured a fantastic lead who could facilitate discussion between its opinionists, a former athlete who gave deeper perspectives because he has been in similar situations, and a flamboyant personality who generates interesting and unique perspectives from a fan’s perspective. They had a perfect blend of enchantment and the type of divisiveness that didn’t alienate listeners; it made them tune in to hear what outlandish things they had to say the next day.

Get Up! in its current state? It has two leads and a knowledgeable basketball analyst. Greenberg is utilized almost exclusively as the main lead. This forces Beadle out of her comfort zone and into more of an opinionist role. She spends most of her time yelling out random comments. Greenberg does a great job facilitating discussion as the lead panelist, however, one must consider that they sacrificed their main radio show to give him this role. Beadle as an opinionist is divisive…and I mean the turn-the-channel kind. I’m concerned for Greenberg. His facial expression is almost a constant stare of severe depression or drunkenness. His eyes have that soullessness glaze. This is not the same spirited personality who co-hosted Mike and Mike.

How much will Rose offer once NBA season ends? He makes valid points that only a former player could offer. But he’s more suited as a reoccurring guest than a mainstay panelist. He lacks personability. Typically, he was removed from the panel whenever discussions ensued with non-NBA entities. I mentioned it before, but anyone who had no previous knowledge of Get Up! would’ve thought Ryan Clark was one of the mainstay panelists. Why was one of the NFL-featured guests so heavily featured on NBA discussion?

A bigger problem became more evident with each passing hour: diversification. People craving morning highlights or news about their teams have no reason to watch Get Up! Not unless the highlights or news are centered around the headline topic. Why should anyone watch what amounted to a little less than a three-hour LeBron-a-thon mixed with minimal draft coverage, goofy videos, and special guests? They reviewed the same LeBron stories at the beginning of every hour.

Nearly no MLB highlights or scores from the previous day. Barely any mentions of the NHL playoffs. Even the non-LeBron NBA matchups received limited publicity. This was following one of, if not, the most news-filled sports weekend of the year. NFL Draft, NHL playoffs, NBA playoffs, MLB regular season…and they can’t do more than repeat LeBron segments for three hours?

My biggest problem was that Get Up! provides nothing unique. This was advertised as some groundbreaking show that would serve as The Today Show of sports. How? Why? It’s just a typical sports talk show idolized toward headline topics. Been there, done that. One can get that anywhere. The panelists themselves aren’t flamboyant or prestigious enough to carry the show itself. Nothing new nor interesting is offered.

Consider the possible interviews they could’ve booked. All the weekend playoff games. Hundreds of NFL draftees. Yet, the interviews consisted of ESPN employees and an NFL offensive lineman who hasn’t taken a snap since 2016. “Hey Mangold, would you drink beer off a fish like Taylor Lewan?” They terminated hundreds of their top employees—for this? Are y’all even trying?

I’m baffled that multimillionaire minds felt this would revolutionize sports television. The idea behind this show isn’t as bad as the execution itself. There’s no direction, no chemistry among its panel members, no diversification of topics, lazy interviews and segments, etc. And they spent years planning for this. A clusterfuck of epic proportions.

I won’t claim it’s irreparable. Whatever they do though, ESPN has to make it different. Unique. It has to bring something different to the table. It has to exercise the strengths of their personalities. This show doesn’t even do that.

Joshua Huffman was born and collegiately edumacated in Middle Tennessee. That said, Huffman spent 13-plus years with the type of Northern Wisconsinites and Yoopers who turn Nashville bars into alcohol wastelands whenever NFC North teams travel to play the Tennessee Titans. This makes him the NoBro of SoBros. He has published content for Yahoo! Sports (via Contributor Network) and Titan Sized, among other venues. At SoBros, he’ll provide Daily Fantasy Sports suggestions and broad sports coverage. Check out more of his musings at his blog, Millennial on Maple Street.