The SoBros Mailbag: 8th Edition – Mascots, Theme Songs, and Pro Wrestling FMK

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Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, use #SoBrosMailbag to hit us up on Twitter.

Question:

Answer:

I’m with Poppa Bear – this is easily my favorite mailbag question we’ve received yet. You should’ve heard the hearty guffaw I let out at my desk upon reading it.

This one’s relatively easy for me. You have to ‘marry’ the WWF/E – as the last company standing, you know they’re going to be reliable. There may be some rocky patches, but you always seem to find your way back to each other. There’s something to be said for that, so I think it’s the easy option for ‘marry.’

As for ‘fuck,’ I’m going to ECW – ECW is on that freaky shit. Probably going to get smacked a little bit and come away with some scratch marks, but who hasn’t been there, amirite?!?! That’s that dirty stuff you’re going to store in the bank for the rest of your life (you know what I mean). You spend a night with ECW and suddenly every other wrestling promotion seems inadequate. But, everyone is passionate about that ECW experience. ECW gets around, so if you don’t make it a one-time thing, you might be paying for it.

By process of elimination, that means I’m going to ‘kill’ WCW, but I have no real qualms with that. WCW is just kind of “blah” – not that I’m implying indifference should lead you to murder, just saying – of the three choices, WCW has no redeeming qualities that save it.

Question:

Answer:

Alley Taps, you wanna handle this one?

But, seriously – we’re due for a visit. Cadbury missed the Foosball After-Party (yes, that’s a thing – welcome to the thunderdome), where I ordered roughly one million G&Ts and sat on the wonderful couches in the lounge for about four hours. Sounds exciting, huh?

Question:

Answer:

I’m probably going to let you down with this, Brent, because I don’t know shit about soccer. Or, futbol – excuse me. But, if I’m going with my 11 best…in terms of the greatest athletes in the U.S. today…hmmm…that’s tough. I’m going with LeBron James, Julio Jones, Odell Beckham, Jr., Antonio Brown, and Russell Westbrook right off the bat. I think those could be the five best athletes in the country right now. After that – Cam Newton, David Johnson, Lamar Jackson, Connor McDavid, DeAndre Hopkins, and Jackie Moon.

Thankfully, Hunter took a stab at this on Twitter and it looks much better than my offering:

Question, from Olivia on Facebook:

If SoBros had a mascot, what would it be?

Answer:

If you ask me, it’s a bear. We’re just a bunch of bears, really. But, bears are also pretty chill, they’re nurturing, and can be a barrel of fun. With a quick Google search of “characteristics of bears,” I was able to find this.

Mother bears are affectionate, protective, devoted, strict, sensitive and attentive with their young. Not unlike people, bears can be empathetic, fearful, joyful, playful, social and even altruistic. They’re all individuals and have unique personalities.

Plus, bears are big in Russia….just like us.

Question, also from Olivia on Facebook:

Same question but “theme song”?

Answer:

This one’s a little easier – I’ve given it some thought over the last couple of years, wondering what would be our official anthem. I’m not sure why, but I haven’t settled on anything better than “Tequila” by The Champs. That song is us to a T.

Question:

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Answer:

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Keep the questions coming using #SoBrosMailbag – catch y’all next week!

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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