Welp – There’s a Train Full of Literal Doo-doo Stuck in Alabama

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Whew – I’ll tell you guys. There are some days that I just question my decision to become a hard-hitting, serious, investigative journalist. I mean, this company was built on seeking to bring the truth to light…well…that, and dick jokes. But, when I read about a ‘poop train’ stuck down in Alabama, I can’t help but question my decisions. Here we are.

Courtesy of WSMV:

A stinking trainload of human waste from New York City is stranded in a tiny Alabama town, spreading a stench like a giant backed-up toilet — and the “poop train” is just the latest example of the South being used as a dumping ground for other states’ waste.

Oh, I didn’t realize Florida-Georgia Line’s tour was running through tiny towns in Alabama!

Seriously, though – this is a lot to process. And, I’m not even talking about processing the poop. I’m just new to the idea that New York City funnels its shit down to the South. That’s not a concept I readily thought of.

In Parrish, Alabama, population 982, the sludge-hauling train cars have sat idle near the little league ball fields for more than two months, Mayor Heather Hall said. The smell is unbearable, especially around dusk after the atmosphere has become heated, she said.

“Oh my goodness, it’s just a nightmare here,” she said. “It smells like rotting corpses, or carcasses. It smells like death.”

Who thought this was a good idea? Like, someone somewhere had to give this sort of thing the okay, right? Cities don’t just up and decide, “hey, you know what – there ain’t shit in Alabama….that’s where we can dump our shit!

And, next to the little league ball fields, no less!

All kinds of waste have been dumped in Georgia, Alabama and other Southern states in recent years, including toxic coal ash from power plants around the nation. In South Carolina, a plan to store radioactive nuclear waste in a rural area prompted complaints that the state was being turned into a nuclear dump.

This is how you end up with True Detective Season One shit going on in the deep South. People breathing in doo-doo fumes for extended amounts of time going crazy. We’re all tired of being pushed around as a veritable wasteland, so we’re not taking it! Instead, we’re just going to form murderous cults and stuff.

The good news is that the fine folks in NYC have stopped sending their shit down here for the time being. That’s mighty kind of them….especially considering it’s about to be Summer time in the South. Those things have already been sitting for two months, but you just wait ’til 100 degrees rains down on them.

There’s a serious conversation to be had here regarding the alarming rate at which we, as a planet, are producing waste. But, we’re not here for serious conversations and honestly – this is enough news for one day, folks.

Roll Tide, I guess?

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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