The SoBros Mailbag: 4th Edition

Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, use #SoBrosMailbag to hit us up on Twitter.

Question:

How come no one goes to Food Lion anymore?

— Brandon Vick (@SirBrandonV) March 22, 2018

Answer:

This is a tough one to answer, Brandon. And, it’s quite sad if we’re being honest. Food Lion was a staple of America for a long time. I don’t even know that Food Lion even exists any more? If it doesn’t then obviously that’s why no one goes there any more. But, it’s too hard to tell for sure.

Question:

Why do some people still believe that Pekka Rinne shouldn’t win the Vezina?

— x – Herbie Brooks (@SoBroHerbie_B) March 22, 2018

Answer:

It blows my mind that people are still making a case AGAINST Rinne. Noted #OurGuy C-Mace has been storming the Twitter gates for Rinne, and I stand with him.

Question:

Why do white people like Carrot Top?

— Poppa Bear (@SoBroPoppaBear) March 22, 2018

Answer:

I’ve never understood the appeal of Carrot Top, to be honest. By the same token, I would say he is without a shadow of doubt the whitest comedian out there. Right up there with Gallagher. The thing about Carrot Top, though, is that he just looks frightening. How can you enjoy a show when you’re in constant fear of being stabbed? I don’t know. Don’t get it, Poppa Bear…just don’t get it.

Question, from Joe on Facebook:

“What would you rather have to fight. 1 duck the size of a horse, or 100 horses that are the size of ducks?”

Answer:

I think your chances of survival are pretty slim against an angry horde of either to be honest, Joe. But, that said, I’ll take a one-on-one battle over a one-on-one-hundred battle.

Question, from Hannah on Facebook:

“Would you rather burp bubbles or sneeze glitter?”

Answer:

Honestly, Hannah – I burp a lot. And, I don’t think I’d want to have that conversation over and over upon hearing people aghast at my bubble-burping. So, I’m going to go with sneezing glitter. Sure, it’d be a mess to clean up every time. But, I could always sneeze into my shirt and worry about the clean up later. Feels like people would notice that less.

Question, from Nick on Facebook:

Creamy or chunky?

Answer:

I don’t even know what this is about, Nick. Are we talking soup? Are we talking sex? It could be a number of things. So, I’m just going to say ‘yes.’ And, yes, that does refer to both soup and sex. Creamy and chunky.

Question, from Tyler on Facebook:

How can Dan Wolken still be considered credible after his texts with John Currie went public with him telling Currie he’d try and sell the fans on Greg Schiano?

Answer:

No clue. I mean, that is journalism at its worst. I know we’re not some big professional organization, but even we understand that you don’t manipulate the news…you just report it. This seems like an egregious abuse of power and position.

Question, from Greg on Facebook:

If SirBrandon Vick has 4 apples and 6 bananas, how many pancakes can fit on the roof?

Answer:

Great question, Greg.

Keep the questions coming using #SoBrosMailbag – catch y’all next week!

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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