Drunk Shopping Is the Latest Epidemic Sweeping the United States

 In Humor, News

I haven’t really gotten in on the drunk shopping craze. But, I’m not going to rule it out after hearing how much it helps the economy, and really just seems like a lot of fun. Usually, the more I drink, the tighter I get with my debit card. Because I know that’s usually how you end up with a ton of unknown charges in the morning. So, it’s just a best practice. But, we’re all about approaching things with an open mind here at SoBros Network – so, I’m just going to present y’all with the story and let you make up your own minds.

Courtesy of Market Watch:

If you’ve ever woken up after a night of drinking with a headache and some alarming bank notifications, you aren’t alone: Nearly half of American adults admit to regularly shopping while drunk — and it appears to be getting worse.

Americans spent an average of $448 per person in drunk purchases in 2017, nearly double what they did in 2016, a new survey of 2,000 adults from shopping comparison site Finder.com found. That would equate to billions of dollars on drunk shopping per year nationwide, the authors said. Men are responsible for more drunk spending than women: $564 versus $282. Generation X spent the most on drunk purchases, averaging $738 last year — more than triple the amount ($206) that millennials spent.

Isn’t Generation X a fictional comic book superhero group? I can’t keep up with all these nicknames. I get millennials and baby boomers and that’s about it. We’re big on nicknames here at SoBros Network, but is a nickname for every generation of people really necessary? Wow – this rant has nothing to do with the story.

Is anyone surprised that men spend more than women when they’re drunk? These are the stories you read from people buying 100 top hats for their toad or buying a shower curtain with a giant cat on it. Things that you might feel are unnecessary, but drunk you thinks is an outright treasure.

You can’t help it that your inhibitions disappear when you’re drunk. Your drunk self knows what truly makes you happy and delivers. That simple.

The average American household spends $970 per year on alcohol, according to personal-finance site ValuePenguin, and $3,935 a year on groceries (including $384 on non-alcoholic beverages). The Finder.com survey estimates Americans spend double that on alcohol ($2,000 a year).

LOL $970 a YEAR?! I spend like $970 a week on booze. But, it’s the only way to cope with these potholes in Nashville, folks.

So, the moral of our story here is simple – don’t put your family on the streets because of your drunk shopping habit..but, please feel free to have some fun. Everyone wins, really.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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