Adventurous Rope Swings Should Be Reserved for Pirates Only

 In Humor

I think it’s reasonable to assume that we’ve all pretended to be pirates at one point in our lives or another. It’s almost like a rite of passage. You can’t become an adolescent without going through a phase where you were into pirates. I can’t remember which academic textbook I got that from, but I know that fact is widely taught in schools. I can personally remember getting pirate action figures for Christmas, and playing with those things until the cows came home.

Which was really weird because my family never had cows. Hmmm…

Anyway, I think it’s worth noting that it can be dangerous heading into adolescence without going through your pirate phase. It’s something that will eat at you for the rest of your life. But, the older you get, the less society accepts being really into pirates. Also, the older you get, the harder it is to pull off pirate-specific feats of athleticism.

Today’s post is sponsored by the letter Y?

A post shared by Dummies Doing Things (@dummiesdoingthings) on

I feel bad for this guy because the vision was definitely there. Like, he built up some real velocity and got a full robust swing going. Ultimately, because his target was the opening in a dumpster, he ate metal and likely has at least one broken limb and some busted ass ribs.

This is why I would advocate for not doing pirate things once you’re older than six years old. Maybe a little baby pulls that swing off, but definitely not a grown adult.

Would this have worked on an actual pirate ship? Well, who’s to say? We’ll never know. I am reading Brian Kilmeade’s book on Thomas Jefferson’s war with the Tripoli pirates. I’ll update this piece if I find any sort of evidence.

Here’s a link to the post in case Instagram takes this down.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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