Today, it looks like the UT coaching search is in serious pursuit of an amazing man with a mullet, Mike Gundy. The SoBros Network has talked about this extensively, and we are not sure money alone will lure the mullet to the hill. So what are some things that UT and the state of Tennessee can offer Mike Gundy besides cash? Here’s a list of items that John Currie and the gang can offer up to bring Gundy to Tennessee:
- His own Smokey Mountain
- Unlimited Biscuits From Cracker Barrel
- Half Price Entrance To Dollywood
- Free Mullet Wax
- Footprint Gas Pedal
- Personal Concert From Billy ray Cyrus
- Free Jack Daniels
- Own Line Of Blue Jean Shorts “Mike Gundy’s Achey Breaky Jorts”
- Personal Moonshine Still
- Meth
- Loretta Lynn
- Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Wax Museum
- The Parthenon
- Reopening of Opryland
- Night With Ray Stevens
- $25 Gift Card to Ernest Tubbs Record Store
- Diving Lesson’s From Nashville Pedestrian Bridge
- Year’s Supply Of Goo Goos
Overall, I think that’s a pretty good list. With all those perks, how could Gundy say no to this job? Who cares if you lose? You can drown it in Jack Daniel’s while you smoke meth and smear Goo Goos on your face with Billy Ray singing in the background while wearing your own line of Jorts in the Parthenon. If that’s not living, then I don’t want to be alive. Let’s bring Gundy to Tennessee!
Smokey covers the Tennessee Volunteers for the SoBros Network. He loves a good backpacking trip, but hates taking a shit in the woods. Follow on Twitter: @SoBroSmokey
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