Unicorn Watch: You Don’t Gotta Be Young to Be a Dancing Unicorn

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Welcome back to the Unicorn Watch here on SoBros Network, folks. This is where we promote the rare unicorn, in the wild, for all those single people out there who may be struggling with loneliness. Hope is out there. Even if you’re a shitty person, you can still find someone to love you.

This week, I found this old man. Felt like we’ve run three of these pieces so far, and they’ve all been women. So, let’s give back to the single ladies and men who are out the hustling to find ’em a fine beau.

Today’s unicorn proves that age is nothing but a number:

Weekend feels

A post shared by Old People Doing Things (@oldppldoingthings) on

Slick moves. Sick moves. Either/or – whatever you want to call ’em. This man obviously has the gift of dance and isn’t afraid to use it. There are definitely some men and women in that venue who need a change of undies after getting too close to this guy. Talking about moisture, people.

But, seriously – what’s sexier than confidence? Some of you are going to say, “not being 80 years old.”

First of all, that’s agism and shame on you. Second of all, there is NOTHING sexier than confidence and you are dead wrong. Hell, if I wasn’t already off the market (sorry, middle aged ladies and middle aged gay men, my two key demographics), I’d be lining up to woo this potential suitor.

When you have the magic of dance on your side, all things are possible. I think that’s a verse in the Bible, actually. Who knew we were going to get spiritual here today? Well, folks – that’s what the Unicorn Watch is all about. Stay huntin’ people. You’ll find the one one day (or at least you definitely won’t die alone, probably…hopefully…).

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Alabama Crimson Tide football, the WWE, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley

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