The phrase ‘hold my beer’ holds meaning for a very special reason. I’m a dude. I’ve been in a similar position before. You’re with your buddies…or at a child’s birthday party…whatever…and someone says something or does something that has you ready to show off. It’s just instinct for most guys. “You think that is cool? Wait ’til you see this? Hold my beer.”
Well, ladies and gentlemen, we may have found the ultimate ‘kid’s birthday party hold my beer’ moment.
Courtesy of The Duluth News Tribune:
It was at his son’s birthday party near Coolidge, outside Phoenix, Victor Pratt told NBC 12. They were at a lake. A rattlesnake happened along, as snakes tend to.
“I showed them how to catch it and I was playing with it like little kids do,” Pratt told Fox 10.
“I was showing off,” he admitted. “Like I always do.”
Well, that’s setting a good example if I ever heard it. Can’t wait for one of these kids to pick up a rattlesnake the next time they see one in the wild and start doing party tricks.
The photos did look impressive, while the pose lasted: There was Pratt on his back in the dirt, with one end of the snake in each hand. There was Pratt on his feet, beside his son, wearing the snake like a scarf.
Except, not pictured, it got loose before that point in the party, and went right for Pratt’s face.
Oh, so he didn’t just set an example…he literally had this rattlesnake next to his son. Good. Okay. Yeah, the pictures are very impressive. I mean just look at that man laying in the dirt holding a snake. Are you not impressed?
This totally sounds like something a man would do to try to impress a woman. I mean, we do stupid shit for women all the time. But, I have yet to read about a woman in this story! Victor’s trying to impress a bunch of kids. What’s the point in that? Why do you want to show off for a bunch of children? Children are stupid.
“I kept my mind strong,” he told Fox 10. His sons drove him to a nearby emergency room, where a doctor quickly inserted a tube in his airway to keep him breathing as the poison swelled his flesh.
Buddy, I got news for you. You can’t keep your mind strong if it was never strong to begin with. I’m going to say anyone who willingly plays with a rattlesnake is not strong of mind. But, that’s neither here nor there. What a weird thing to say….I’m going to start using this in my everyday life. “Stoney, good job on copying and pasting into that spreadsheet.” “You got it, boss. I just kept my mind strong.”
“There is a 100 percent chance he would have died if he’d not have made it to the hospital within minutes,” said Steven Curry, who directs the department of medical toxicology at Banner-University Medical Center Phoenix, where Pratt was airlifted later that day.
Wait – the basketball player?
“The facial swelling is so immense that even your tongue and lips and the inside of your throat swell,” Curry said. “In simple terms, it would be strangulation.”
Pratt was sedated and in shock when Curry first saw him. He remained unconscious for several days, as doctors treated him with the first of what would eventually be 28 vials of antivenin.
But, was it worth it? I mean, how cool did Victor look in front of those children? All he had to sacrifice was several days of consciousness.
“In my career, and I’ve been doing this for about 35 years or so, I’ve only seen one illegitimate snake bite in a woman,” he said, meaning a bite in which the victim saw the snake and didn’t try to escape.
“We find they are far too intelligent to go messing around.”
Hot damn, that doctor throwing some shade at Victor here. You know why? I bet this doctor was not the cool kid at birthday parties playing with rattlesnakes. No way he was that cool. He’s obviously jealous of how cool Victor is.
So, what’s our lesson here, folks? #BeBetter – don’t play with fucking rattlesnakes.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @WrestlingNewsCo
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