The 10 Most Satisfying Deaths on Game of Thrones
What? Is it bad that we’re celebrating characters dying? I don’t know – I don’t think so, but maybe Game of Thrones has ultimately corrupted me to the point where death is a joyous occasion depending on its victim. Anyway, let’s start a discussion here.
The 10 Most Satisfying Game of Thrones Deaths
10. The Waif – Man, talk about a grade A hardo. The Waif was wayyyyyy too into her job. She never believed in Arya, and well – yeah, she was right about her. But, still – no need to be such a try-hard. Just do you.
9. Olly – Maybe I’m heartless, but that kid was just an outright dipshit. He was being groomed to take over the Night’s Watch by Jon Snow himself, but I guess if wildlings murder you’re entire family, you’re probably going to bear some ill will towards them. So, Jon siding with them, no matter the reason, never sat well with this kid. But, kids are stupid! Olly couldn’t see the big picture, and he literally stabbed Jon right in the chest after all he’d done for him. So, you want to act like a grown man, Olly, you deal with grown man consequences. That would be a rope around yo’ neck, boy!
8. Tywin Lannister – I actually never really hated Tywin the way that the rest of the Game of Thrones fandom seemed to hate him. His death was certainly warranted. The guy was just a vicious old curmudgeon. But, honorable or not, you always at least knew where Tywin stood. So, I’ll give him a pass. Plus, if I had to deal with Joffrey, I’d probably be a grump ass, too. Buuuuuut, sentencing Tyrion to death is a big no-no.
7. The Khals – Remember when they kidnapped Dany? And, then when Dany called them unfit to rule, they said that she would be raped by pretty much everyone. Yeah, so Dany just burnt down the whole damn building with everyone, including herself, inside. Those assholes had it coming.
6. Walder Frey – God, what a curmudgeonly old bastard. Walder Frey hated anything and everything, was one of the nastiest motherfuckers, and he orchestrated the Red Wedding.
5. Alliser Thorne – I hated this prickly bastard from the moment I saw him. He never believed in Jon, and I guess he was a bit jaded by all of the shitty men he’d been sent to shape into rangers. But, talk about picking a losing side. Thorne is the quintessential old man who refuses to see change in the world and adapt to the times. Jon knew what needed to be done to save the world, but Alliser was always nothing more than a….wait for it…thorn…in Jon’s side. Actually, yeah – he was more than that.He led the mutiny against Jon – he was an outright dick!
4. Littlefinger – I understand that people celebrate Littlefinger’s charm and cunning, but the man had little to no redeeming qualities whatsoever. He had a lust for power, and sure, he used the tools he had at his disposal to get there – manipulation, scheming, money, etc. But, I hate to see people like that succeed. I’m very glad he didn’t. Plus, his execution symbolizes the unification of the Stark family in the North at a time when unity is needed.
3. Viserys Targaryen – The First Lady and I have been re-watching the series starting from Season One, and I laughed out loud when Viserys pointed out that all of the Dothraki people loved Dany and that no one had ever shown him that type of love and loyalty in his entire life. But, he really had no sense of what an asshat he was. Make no mistake, though, he was. Remember when he told Dany he would let the entire Dothraki horde and their horses “run through her” if it meant getting him closer to the throne. He was a punk ass bitch, as we say in the hood.
2. Ramsay Bolton – Ramsay is one of the two characters on this show that I considered pure evil. Most of the characters operate somewhere in the gray area, where you can at least understand their perspective, even if they are big bags of shit. Ramsay was just flat out a bad dude. Make no bones about it – he dabbled in torture and rape. He cut off Theon’s dick and made him his veritable servant dog. Oh, and he murdered his entire family and seized Winterfell. There was also that time he shot Rickon Stark with an arrow right before the Battle of the Bastards. Just an all-around ruthless murderer. But, wait! There’s more – not sure if they confirmed it or not, but wasn’t he a cannibal, too?
1. Joffrey Baratheon – Joffrey was hard to stomach. I mean, sure – that’s a testament to Jack Gleeson’s ability to make us legitimately hate the character. But, King Joffrey was pure evil and he was a little snot. Being such a fabulous, royal, arrogant bitch gives him the edge over Ramsay in terms of how much I hate the guy. Like, Ramsay was sick and twisted, but he wasn’t the coward that Joffrey was. Let’s run down some of Joffrey’s crowning achievements.
- He had the butcher’s boy executed
- The subsequent “trial” led to the killing of Sansa’s direwolf, Lady.
- Had basically of Ned Stark’s men murdered.
- Sent Ser Barristan packing from the Kingsguard.
- Had Ned Stark killed and his head put on a spike.
- Ordered the deaths of all of Robert Baratheon’s bastards.
- Forced two prostitutes to beat the shit out of each other.
- Cowardly retreated from the Battle of the Blackwater.
- Kills Ros with a crossbow.
- Wants to serve Sansa Robb Stark’s head at his wedding feast.
- Accused Tyrion of murder with his dying breath, which led to the trial-by-combat and subsequent death of Oberyn Martell.
And, that’s just the big stuff. But, feel free to re-watch the series and I’m sure you’ll find a lot more that I missed. Joffrey was a terrible human being who legitimately made the world a worse place simply by being apart of it.
My most heart wrenching Game of Thrones deaths are coming later this week, so stay tuned. Otherwise, what do you think, Thrones fans? Who were you happy to see go?
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @WrestlingNewsCo