In our never ending quest to provide all of our readers with relatable, ‘slice of life’ style content, we here at the SoBros Network feel the time to weigh in on social commentary has officially come. It’s once again time for me, Big Natural, to open up the leather-bound parchment pages of the annals of history. Put on your plush robe, light your pipe, start a fire, and get ready for deep contemplation. This is the as-often-as-I-remember-to-write-it column: Forgotten Treasures of Americana.
Lately, I’ve seen on the news and in studies of social journals that I subscribe to that a bunch of know-it-all university professors have stated that homework could be bad for kids.
PSHHH
You kiddin’ me, academia? Let me tell y’all something. I grew up on so much homework that I didn’t have time to do it all. Really, I was so busy that I couldn’t get all of my homework done. As a kid, I barely had a life. Not much time to run your WWE action figure federation when you have worksheets out the ass to fill in, amirite!?!?
Well, look how I turned out. I’m so successful. But, I’m not just successful because I am the modern day sex symbol of Gladeville. The biggest part of my success as a human adult can be directly attributed to worksheets. Even the ones I didn’t do, because what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.
Now, people seem to think that kids should have a little more freedom. To do what? Homework is incredibly productive. Doing homework is what one day leads to people getting jobs. But, nooooooo – let’s let the little boogers run around playing with their Hatchimals for another five hours each day.
Even worse, they could be playing video games. We all know how bad video games are for kids, especially when it comes to hand-eye coordination and motor function. So, how could we ever live with ourselves as a society if we let kids just have total free creative expression?
Homework is about learning information and it is about structure. That’s what kids need, and believe me, no one understands children better than I do. Schools have practically begged me to teach their children after seeing my work at the iCube at Tennessee Tech. But, I have more important work to do. Like this.
Still, you leave children to their own vices and you never know what’s going to happen. So, we can either provide them with enlightenment or let them finger paint with their own shit. I know exactly where I stand, but do you? Are you going to stand for this?
No, we need to fight this phenomenon. We need to make sure kids are always doing homework for the rest of eternity.
Check out the Forgotten Treasures of Americana archives here.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley, @WrestlingNewsCo
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