Nashville Power Rankings: Week 4

 In Humor, Nashville, Nashville Power Rankings

Nashville – we’re back for Week 4 of the SoBros Network’s Nashville Power Rankings. As journalists, we have the story of a city to tell, and we’re hammering it out one week at a time. It’s crazy to think we’re already a month in to this column, but we’re getting rave reviews so far. Thanks for checking it out and supporting your local shitty comedy blog.

We’re usually a party in paragraph form. The rankings come out on Fridays – we have Friday Jams lined up, it’s #GinFriday, and we’re workin’ for the weekend. But, I’m not going to lie, folks. It’s hard. It doesn’t feel like Friday this week. The Nashville Predators lost 6-0 in Pittsburgh last night in Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Final. The city is deflated. But, the show must go on.

If you have a submission for this column, feel free to DM us on Facebook or Twitter, or shoot us an e-mail at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com because we’re still too cheap to pay for e-mail hosting.

Week In Review

The Nashville Rescue Mission needs bottled water – help ’em out. Even if you can’t deliver water yourself, you can donate. Also, hell – while we’re at it, shout out to J.R. Lind…my man’s been killin’ it this week.

Story of the Week: Undoubtedly has to be all the fanfare surrounding the city this week between CMA Fest, Bonnaroo, the Preds Stanley Cup run. It’s crazy.

If you don’t like crowds, this is probably not an ideal weekend to go downtown.

Blue Collar Badass of the Week: Gotta give it to my friends at Southern Underground Pro, the Kick Out At Two Podcast, and Righteous Jesse (is it two words? or, just one? I can’t tell from the posters). S.U.P. (don’t call it ‘sup’) has a show tomorrow night at The Cobra in East Nashville:

Love seeing hard working creative people making things happen in our city. This crew grew up going to the Nashville Fairgrounds to watch wrestling as did I, and as did the generations of family before me. Jackie Fargo and Tojo Yamamoto – blood, guts, and glory, baby. The S.U.P. braintrust identified that Nashville was missing that sort of independent scene in 2017 and made it happen.

They booked emerging talent Curt Stallion, who is now the Bonestorm Champion. Now they’ve announced that “The Bad Boy” Joey Janela will be competing here in August.

Hard work pays off.

Shout out: Lady Preds. Give her a follow.

YES MA’AM!

Honorary Nashvillian of the Week: Jeremy Roenick – LOOOOOVE me some JR. If you haven’t already, you have to catch him catfishin’ with Taylor Lewan.

SoBros Nashville Story of the Week: The Ryan Brothers brawling and hitting on women in Nashville – is it funny or frightening? You be the judge.

Step Your Game Up

Pittsburgh “Media” – Salty guys ripping our fan base and accusing the Preds of piping in crowd noise. Give me a break – I’m all for some fun competitive banter, but this is nonsense.

Mark Howard – I’m a huge Mark Howard fan. That said, on The Midday 180 this week, Paul Kuharsky just casually dropped that one radio personality on 104.5 The Zone thinks Carrot Top is a comedic genius. I had to find out. Thankfully, PK helped me get the scoop.

Shame. Come on, Mark.

Mike Milbury – I’m just going to leave this here….

P.K. Subban has been on Sidney Crosby ALL SERIES….even got a quick little jab in across the jaw. But, come on – you can’t say it warrants Crosby dribbling Subban’s head off the ice.

On to the Rankings

5. McKay – Hopped in the car and rode across town last weekend, spent a couple of hours unwinding and perusing the seemingly endless labyrinth of books and other assorted goods at McKay and thought, “man – what a place. This warrants a spot on the Nashville Power Rankings next week.” So, here we are. Check ’em out if you like reading words in books.

4. Sam the Balloon Man – What a story. We did a shitty comedy blog version of the 8-foot balloon Pekka Rinne. The Tennessean did an excellent feature on the man behind its creation. Salute to you, Sam!

3. Viktor Arvidsson – The lone Preds highlight from Game 6:

2. Megan Barry – Gotta give credit where credit is due, the Mayor had a siiiiiiick week. Sure, she was all over the city this week – working hard with her team to make all of our Preds viewing parties safer and more organized, meeting with entrepreneurs, cutting ribbons, and just generally having conversations about how to improve the city…

But, she also named Ryan Johansen the Honorary Mayor of Nashville for a day:

She renamed 5th Avenue “Predators Way” for the rest of June:

Then, there’s the sick note:

This is the kind of shit that makes a city feel united. She’s crushin’ it!

1. Shoney’s – So, it had to take something special to knock the Mayor out of the top spot this week, and that’s exactly what we have here, folks. Something special. I’m driving to the airport last week, and lo and behold, what is this that my eyes do see?!?! Shoney’s in Donelson has. a. mother. fucking. bar. Can y’all believe that? Do you know how long I’ve been dreaming about this moment?

I wonder if it’s a good spot to watch a game. Because, the idea of sitting on a barstool, drinking beer, and making frequent trips to the buffet over the course of three hours is tantalizing.

Anyway, that’s your local establishment of the week….we’ve covered The Stillery, 21c Museum Hotel, Buffalo’s Billiards…..and Shoney’s in Donelson. Only the finest.

Catch y’all next week. Go Preds – long live Nashville!

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. A strong advocate of GSD (get shit done) and #BeBetter, he’s down to talk Tennessee Titans and Alabama Crimson Tide football over a beer any day. Check him out covering the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley@WrestlingNewsCo

Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork

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Showing 2 comments
  • Brett Bullard
    Reply

    Just now read this, but I think there should be a SoBros event at the Shoney’s bar in Donelson. Maybe there could be some kind of disgusting and borderline deadly food eating contest. See who can eat the most fried shrimp in 10 minutes without puking.

    • Stoney Keeley
      Reply

      This sounds like a great idea. Absolutely nothing could go wrong.

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