The official Wrestlemania 33 predictions of the SoBros Network staff, “Big Natural” Stoney Keeley and “Nature Boy” Brandon Vick.
Universal Championship: Goldberg (c) vs. Brock Lesnar
Brandon: I’m not a fan of this being for the Universal Title, but I’m not too shocked, at this point. Goldberg has been getting the best of Lesnar since Survivor Series of last year. Goldberg’s streak ends at Wrestlemania. Lesnar wins.
Stoney: I understand why this is the main event, I really do. I just don’t think the match will be very good. And, that’s fine – the rest of the card looks stacked, so by the time this comes on, I may just be ready to go to bed anyway. Goldberg has had one hell of a run since returning to the WWE last fall, but Lesnar simply can’t afford to take this loss. Wrestlemania ends with Lesnar and Heyman raising the Universal Championship amidst fireworks.
WWE Championship: Bray Wyatt (c) vs Randy Orton
Brandon: This should’ve been a triple threat for the WWE Championship with Luke Harper in the mix. With that said, this rivalry has been rolling for a while and I don’t want it to end with a NEW champion. I feel like Orton may win, but Wyatt deserves to retain. I sure hope he does. Wyatt wins.
Stoney: I’m with Brandon – I wanted the triple threat. Instead, Harper will probably be in the battle royal. But, I digress. As for Orton-Wyatt, they had the chance to do something special at No Mercy last year and didn’t. The match was awkward – and in a tough spot, no less. Dolph Ziggler and The Miz tore the house down, and should’ve been the main event. The good thing is that these two have had plenty of time to iron out the kinks. The story has been deep and rich, but this should be about establishing Wyatt as a legitimate champion. He needs that Wrestlemania moment.
United States Championship Chris Jericho (c) vs. Kevin Owens
Brandon: The U.S. Title on the line or not, this could be the one that steals the show. It’s had great buildup and made Jericho more relevant than ever. But, Owens wins.
Stoney: I like that Wrestlemania features several matches that have been building for months. On paper, this is the best match of the night. With Jericho taking a quick break from action after Wrestlemania, I’d imagine they put the strap on Owens, but who knows? Maybe Jericho gets his ultimate revenge on the grandest stage of them all. I really don’t know where to lean in this match.
Intercontinental Championship: Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Baron Corbin
Brandon: Finally a solid one-on-one match for the Intercontinental title. Corbin should win and NEEDS to win to keep his momentum going.
Stoney: *Lee Corso voice* NOT SO FAST, MY FRIEND! Let’s rewind to 2007. Chris Benoit takes on MVP at Wrestlemania 23. We all think this is the official coronation of MVP – it’s his moment to claim the United States Championship……and then the match happens and Benoit wins. Kind of a bummer. Well, WWE likes to throw us curveballs like this at times. I could easily see this being such a spot. Ambrose wins a brutal, physical contest, gets his Wrestlemania shine with the Intercontinental Championship, and Corbin ultimately wins it a month later.
Roman Reigns vs. The Undertaker
Brandon: Who runs the yard? Who cares? Undertaker wins. I could see Reigns winning, but I don’t think Taker will lose if this is his last Wrestlemania or if he is set to lose to Cena next year.
Stoney: Don’t get why this match is happening from a kayfabe standpoint…haven’t been into the promos…I think Undertaker should retire…I could not care less about this match. Put it on the pre-show for all I care. Official prediction? Reigns wins – hopefully, having a good worker as his dance partner means the Big Dog can squeeze one more good match out of grandpa, but I’m not holding my breath.
Shane McMahon vs A.J. Styles
Brandon: This is the only matchup that might outshine Y2J VS KO. I expect to see some crazy moves with AJ showing the beauty he provides through the air. One of these guys will have back-to-back Wrestlemania losses. It needs to be Shane. Styles wins.
Stoney: Believe it or not, I’m shocked to say this, but I think this is my personal most-anticipated match of the show. Like many of you, I was rolling my eyes when this match was first rumored. But, boy – they have absolutely sold me on it now. They really milked Styles getting screwed out of the WWE Championship picture to the point where he lost it and attacked an authority figure. I loved Daniel Bryan’s line that, “Shane isn’t like the other McMahons.” He was right – Shane came out and just made the match. Now, he wants to kick Styles’ ass, and folks – working with the best wrestler on the planet should mask the fact that Shane isn’t a full time wrestler. It’s deep, personal, emotional, there may be a crazy stunt or two involved, and this match has real show-stealing potential.
Raw Women’s Championship: Charlotte Flair vs Sasha Banks vs Bayley (c) vs Nia Jax
Brandon: I’m really digging the Fatal 4-way elimination match for the Raw Women’s Championship. And now that Jax is officially in the mix, she could very well win. I wouldn’t mind it, either. But, I feel like “The Boss” will become Women’s Champion once more (editor’s note: perhaps after a heel turn?). Now, that hussy just has to stay healthy!
Stoney: The hot potato booking comes to an end. I wouldn’t be surprised to see this match open the show. But, regardless, Bayley gets her Wrestlemania moment. It just won’t mean as much…considering she’s already the champion and she ended Charlotte Flair’s pay-per-view streak at Fastlane.
Smackdown Live Women’s Championship: Alexa Bliss (c) defends against every available member of the Smackdown Live roster
Brandon: The Royal Rumble for the Smackdown Live Women’s Championship? I think that’s the official name for this match. I really don’t care who wins. Maybe Nicole Bass will return. Becky Lynch wins.
Stoney: If Naomi is healthy enough to walk to the ring, she’s winning this match. Otherwise, I could see them giving the title and subsequent Wrestlemania moment to just about anyone involved except Bliss. I don’t think she leaves Orlando with the title. I’m kind of leaning with Brandon….if Naomi isn’t healthy, Lynch wins.
Non-sanctioned match: Seth Rollins vs. Triple H
Stoney: What an odd turn of events with this program. What has built for so long was jeopardized by another Rollins knee injury. Reports suggest he’s good to go, and really, they can’t afford to postpone this match for another year, so here we are. Did the injury take the wind out of the sails a little bit? Maybe. But, now that this is a “non-sanctioned” match, these two are free to get creative. Two of the greatest WWE matches of all time were non-sanctioned matches: HBK-Triple H at Summerslam ’02 and HBK-Chris Jericho at Unforgiven ’08.
Plus, there’s room for a little Samoa Joe involvement, maybe a Finn Balor return – things that can take some of the pressure off of Rollins, should his knee not be back to 100%. That said, he’s cleared, so I expect this to be one of the finer contests of the night…Rollins wins.
John Cena & Nikki Bella vs. The Miz & Maryse
Brandon: I never thought this would be Cena’s Wrestlemania match. But, it is against the biggest heel on Smackdown Live. No way Cena and his woman are going to lose. And, if he does propose, I hope a video interrupts and shows she ended up getting hitched to James Ellsworth the night before. Better yet, he didn’t use a condom on their wedding night either. John and Nikki win.
Stoney: I’m more into the build than the match itself. I hope this one happens early on in the show, but I’m okay with it taking place. I’m surprised to see the amount of comedy they’ve instilled into this program, but The Miz is pure gold. Will the match be a five star wrestling classic? No, but it could be fun. Give it a chance. Regardless, The Miz had an invigorating 2016, and I’m happy to see it pay off with him getting the Cena slot at ‘Mania. That’s a huge honor.
Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Championship: Neville (c) vs Austin Aries
Brandon: This may the two best Cruiserweights WWE has to offer. Actually, I know it is. I hope this lives up to expectations and puts this division on notice. I think Aries will win, but Neville ain’t done by a long shot!
Stoney: I don’t really see Neville losing this one. There will be some sort of shenanigans, I’m sure…just to keep the rivalry going. Aries is probably the guy to eventually dethrone the King of the Cruiserweights, but Neville really needs a good long reign to establish himself and the Cruiserweight Championship as a mainstay on Raw.
RAW Tag Team Championship: Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows (c) vs. Sheamus & Cesaro vs. Enzo & Big Cass
Brandon: Apparently, the only Tag Team Title match that’ll be at Wrestlemania this year. Lame. I like the competitors, but it really doesn’t matter who is in the ring, it’s all for Enzo and Cass on April 2nd. Those titles are calling their names. LOUDLY.
Stoney: I’m with Brandon again. Reports surfaced last Fall that Enzo and Cass were being kept away from the Raw Tag Team titles with Wrestlemania in mind, so I’m going to stick with that. If they make this a ladder match, though, I will legitimately be concerned for the health of Enzo. There’s some odd show-stealing potential here, too.
Kickoff Show: Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Brandon: I’m rooting for Buddy Savage (editor’s note: famed wrestler from the early 2000s at the Gallatin VFW). However, I just don’t see anyone being able to eliminate Shark (aka Earthquake). I’m teasing. Monster Among Men. Strowman wins.
Stoney: Since it’s on the Wrestlemania Kickoff Show, I wouldn’t expect anything too dramatic this year. This is going to be a showcase for Braun Strowman, and I’m more than okay with that. BRAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUN!!!!
Brandon Vick is the resident film critic of the SoBros Network, and star of Brandon’s Box Office In Your Mouth. Follow him on Twitter@SirBrandonV and be sure to search #VicksFlicks for all of his latest movie reviews.
Stoney Keeley is the editor of the SoBros Network and covers the WWE for WrestlingNews.co. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley and @WrestlingNewsCo
Follow us on Twitter @SoBrosNetwork
